Hi I just got divorced six months ago and we still live gether after the divorce we started trying things out again and it failed due me not being there all the time and going out about a month after that she started a married guy who is seperated this has been going on since early mid novemeber I have realized all my mistakes and want get her back I can follow the steps except for the one of no contact as we live gether I have already done the mistakes of possibly pushing her closer that guy but have now spped and started getting of the couch waiting for her What do. During last 2 years of Rs she became drunk at least weekly and hurled insults at me such as not worth the financial convienience going grow be a fat old man fault I didn’t orgasm hobby is embarrassing (she introduced me hobby as a Xmas gift) Don’t you want look beautiful for girl (insisting I go gym) You will never find one as beautiful me love you (when I discussed breaking over the child) You don’t understand women When we would go out for dinner ect she would try force me drink and get set if I didn’t If the relationship was a meaningful one there’s still a chance but not while she is gether her new date I would suggest letting go of things for now and trying maintain a casual friendship her for the time being If an opportunity presents itself down the road and you still feel strongly for her you can take another shot at. Since you guys sort of broke back then there isn’t much you can do at this point since you’ve mentioned that both of you have dated around which makes the break more official (even if you guys did not sit down address it) It’s likely that she still has certain feelings wards you but has chosen be the other guy instead You could either try sincerely win her back and if she loves you enough she may come back or you could decide walk a from this for the. Hey Izzy It does seem like a rebound so you do still have a chance You should text her after a month Make sure you read the full detailed article on winning. You should be as skeptical about getting back gether as she is After all you both broke once And you don’t want end in a heartbreak again So if you two decide get back gether take things slow and analyze new relationship before committing it completely Use EPB Basics E-course Like I said before you should sck on attraction connection and trust before asking ex get back gether you do so you should follow this article in its entirety Specially Stage 2 and Stage 4 I’ve designed the EBP Basics E-course help you get through Stage 2 of this article It will send you an email everyday for the next 30 days help you become a better version of self You can subscribe by taking. Mark I’m happy hear these articles helped you make the separation necessary sp blaming self for any of this And in case ex may actually have been diagnosable in light of the suicide threats and enough pain be self-harming along the inability maintain a work life This kind of behavior is absolutely crazy-making and the women themselves fully believe that is all their partner’s fault making it even harder see clearly. Now I will make contact in a week’s time for 3 days straight and see if she replies Even if she doesn’t reply I have decided go and meet her at her place as a surprise and confess all my mistakes I have be there on a particular date as she is need of some domestic help and she has only 1 friend help her I will tell her I have come help but not a doormat and get her back I am accepting my mistakes and I need talk her She can’t friendzoned me as I already ld her that s not what I will accept during break She broke only Because We fought badly We had communication issues We didn’t listen each other She lost respect in the relation after each fight But We did have a great time My mistakes were – Getting clingy – Being unable accept her suggestions or improvise on them like the of talking etc You might want respect her decision for now because even though she still has feelings for you the fact that she wants explore the relationship her new partner may change that especially if you try interfere their relationship She may very well end resenting you for it I would recommend moving on life for now and if the opportunity presents itself in the future and you still have feelings for her then you could give it another shot. Based on current emotional state no contact would still be suitable because it is ultimately meant for personal benefit and a conscious attempt regain composure as well as improve on self Winning ex back would come secondary this because out positive changes in life you give ex no added reason come back Keep in mind that this isn’t an overnight process and it will take time but you’ll have be patient and constantly work on keeping positive about things perhaps even date new people first before returning as a different person We often have the mentality of ‘wanting what we can’t have’ and this may be a case in point especially since waves of emotional negativity hits you hardest whenever you realize that someone else wants go after her/has gotten gether her. “If I just keep in uch her everything will go back normal If I don’t let her forget me she will realize how much she loves me and wants be me I just need stay in uch her.” This one is obvious The more you text or call ex the less attractive you will look her Even if you act all casual when you text her you will still come off as needy as ex will see right through it Texting her again and again is a sign of neediness and desperation and no girl is attracted a. One more important aspect of recovery from a relationship a women traits of borderline personality disorder can be understanding why it happened you Just as there is a specific profile that we can use identify a women traits of borderline personality disorder there is also a profile for the kind of man these women choose be in relationships It would depend on whether you’re able handle meeting her or not especially if she wants go through the break You’re probably going have mentally prepare let her go for now and win her back all over and you can’t let hopes bring you down in the process and end doing more damage than good when meeting her. It could be that she has lost attraction for you which is common for relationships that have passed a certain length You’ll have figure out how re-attract her you again by building on the spark and romance between the relationship if you want things work out in the long run Avoid projecting feelings of insecurity her as it undermines attraction levels further by coming across as an uncertain and insecure person. If you’ve still been in contact her all this while and perhaps even might have become her emotional blanket it would be better actually walk a and go in NC for now because the she sees you may simply someone help her out when she’s emotional instead of you being the one she values. She may have only chosen acknowledge the qualities in you she liked ignoring the qualities she didn’t You also might not have known that she chose only show you the qualities she believed you would like and may have hidden the qualities she feared would cause you reject her From Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde You were probably caught completely off guard when one day you found that the love of life had abrtly changed from friend in someone who now acted like you were her worst enemy Or it may have happened so slowly that you didn’t realize until months later that she had changed in a person you hardly recognized When I talk about becoming a better version of self; I want you try work on every aspect of life Working on physical appearance is a great feel better about self heal from the break and become more confident ex was already attracted you physically So this isn’t something you need worry about much But you can increase chances by going the gym bulking (or slimming down) getting a new haircut getting teeth cleaned; or by getting new trendy clothes Emotional Intelligence: Being confident and looking good is something that attract girls you in the first place But the thing that keeps them you for a long time is emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence is something that girls find extremely attractive once they get close you In fact I’d say most girls leave guys because of lack of emotional intelligence She may have started like someone else but it doesn’t mean that she has fully gotten over you It seems like she still cares for you and is responding positively If you really want win her back you could als show her care and concern as a friend first before slowly building feelings once more It’s important slowly change her mindset wards the break as being mean each other was more of a by product of the length the both of you were gether This tends happen in long-term relationships and fights are common because both parties start take each other for granted get impatient and start be less lerant in general. Find out chances of getting ex back in 2 minutes. Thank you Ryan I just have another question Can I use these s as described in the article if I sp the no contact in future? get in contact again Or aren’t these recommended under these circumstances. Well it could have been that she was busy and forgot You could als try dropping her another text or message again since it has been 3 weeks but start on a different pic and see how she responds you. Find out chances of getting ex back in 2 minutes. Hopefully she will understand (and will be impressed and confused) and leave you alone If she doesn’t respect wishes then you will just have ignore her calls and texts Wouldn’t this make her want move on? Maybe But just because she wants move on doesn’t mean she will In fact in most cases this will make her want you more Remember how you were pushing her a when you kept contacting her and telling her how you love her and will give the world be her? Well by doing no contact you are pulling back and it’s going make her want push In other words it’s going make her miss you and want you in life This is what I call the push pull dynamics of a break Besides you are not doing this forever you will only do this for a short while as we will discuss in just a moment What if she finds another boyfriend during no contact? I think it’s pretty obvious why doing something like this will push her further a No one wants be a guy who is abusive At this point you’ll only be able see if the chance remains once you’ve moved closer her I would suggest making positive changes in the mean time self so that an impression can be made on her when you do meet her However it’s also important note that you should not get hopes o high and be mentally prepared for anything that may potentially happen. Hello right now i’m at stage 4 of this strategy guide and I followed all the steps exactly like mentioned in the guide The break wasn’t very dramatic and I didn’t make many mistakes in the days after So I recently contacted her via text after the no contact period and she responded in a positive but still she didn’t initiate texting in the next days (also she didn’t contact me during no contact) A few days later we had meet eachother because of a party of a mutual friend and after some time she came sitting right next me and began be uchy me in a playfully fighting I just did it back because I didn’t quite know what I had do… I have no idea what think of this Do I still have follow the plan and wait some days before I contact. A lot of guys feel that they can convince their ex come back and they don’t need do no contact If you think like that you must understand that even though there’s a slight chance you will be successful in getting her back you will most likely fail in keeping her Unless you follow Stage 2 of this guide there’s a very good chance you and ex will break again after getting back gether I have seen this happen my readers and clients over and over again And I would hate see it happen you. The stages of grief are pretty self explanary so I’ll not go in details about them But when you are trying win her back for good you need watch out for the first three stages of grief Denial Anger And Bargaining As we will see in the next section these three stages of grief are likely make you do things that will push ex a and make her think that breaking you was the decision she ever made 2 Understand What Pushes Her A make this easier for you remember here is a list of mistakes that pushes ex a when you are in this stage Mistake 1: Begging and Trying Use Pity Grief Stage: Bargaining Example: You could start talking her again in school once you’ve established a comfortable level of contact her so that there is no awkwardness when talking. But for me effectively do that I need two things from you 1 I need you read this entire article Don’t skip a different section because you might miss an important detail I have seen a lot of my readers and clients make mistakes that I tell them very clearly not make You are especially vulnerable because ex is dating someone else and mind is probably panicking hard 2 I need you be honest Be honest self and me (if we ever communicate) as we move forward in this journey gether Honesty is very important if you want win her back permanently If you don’t want lose her again you better build new relationship on strong foundations.
I know it’s hard but you’ll have persevere if you want win her back Keep distracted during this period and perhaps do things that would lift spirits. Later you are going turn that doubt in a fact by showing her how you’ve changed and how things will be different when you get her back Should I tell her that I am doing no contact? If you and ex are on talking terms right now you can tell her that you need some space and time and you don’t want her contact you. Hi there this is the 3rd time using no contact rule on my ex First time was in December 2017 and I did almost 30 days and she missed me and we got back gether she broke me later on and I did NC for a week and a half and she’s ok me back recently she’s moved another city for her job and broke me right before she left saying she leaving everything behind and not looking back She said we dont work and we argue about past things Yesterday was her first day in new city and she went on a date someone and it crushed me She went someone I know and a person we argued about so many times because she flirted them I thought how could she Just started the NC and this is a 3rd time do you think it will work?? Is it worth trying? If you want get her back permanently it’s important that the above objective are priorities If you sacrifice priorities because you are trying get her miss you you will suffer in the long run Getting her miss you is a nice side effect you can achieve by putting in a little more effort (Recommended Reading: How Make Ex Miss You out Looking Like. //it ended draining all of my energy until 2017 in a multitude of forms It affected my jobs and my ability make new friends All of my time was spent visiting her at university at the weekend or calling her in the evening and I couldn’t do anything alone However in hindsight my bringing and the abuse I was put through were shocking in comparison her life of luxury but still I als put her first and never really questioned it I had pander her heavily and I lost sight of who I was and put my own individuality and priorities as second hers I gradually sacrificed my own path. Given the circumstances you could try first restart a friendship her no obvious external motives like ‘wanting win you back eventually’ If she allows for that you could slowly rebuild the bond her bit by bit If the relationship was a meaningful one back then she would eventually start feel something again for you However just keep in mind that you guys were gether for 4 months and have been broken for 2 There’s a chance that she may have actually moved on since and you’ll have be mentally prepared walk a if that’s. This is entirely choice whether you want persist and be patient in slowly trying win her over or give because of the uncertainty and potentially wasting time Ultimately there’s no guarantee for any relationship work out and its something you have take the chances on. She might find a momentary relief from the rebound relationship; but she will eventually have face the reality That she lost someone close her o and it’s freaking painful And that’s when you strike That’s when you show her that you are a new person That’s when you start rebuilding attraction and connection her That’s when you plant an idea in her mind The idea that if you get back gether it might be an amazing relationship It’s important that you heal during no contact for that happen Here is what you should keep in mind during no contact Block ex from everywhere if you can’t sp obsessing over her and the new guy This is the only solution if the thought of ex and the new guy is not getting out. Thanks a lot The thing is that it has been 4 months since the break and some days I’m still in some intense pain What’s being more difficult me is that during all that time everything was perfect and it’s being really hard accept that all the relationship was a lie and the person I fell in love does not exists Was nothing but a mask Any advice?? Or maybe this kind of relationships just need some extra time be accepted and be able. Firstly the fact that she sees the change in you is a good thing If you genuinely want her back you might have mentally prepare play the waiting game as there’s no time estimated frame when they may or may not end I would advice you under these circumstances not get hopes and have a mindset that you’re out be her friend first and foremost Anything else becomes. Hey guys so my recently broke me and i am currently doing the nc for 30 days We have not talked for 3 days now and i’ve decided desactivate my fb account for a while keep me from looking a her profile and just take some time clear my head But yesterday she sent me a text saying “did you just really block me on facebook??” So i answered no and said that i just disactivated my account keep me from looking a her stuff and take time for myself It seems like the idea of me blocking her really hurt her She seemed very set about it and i would like know if that means she’s still thinking about me and reconsidering her decision. Ok after the limited/NC period how do I approach since we’ll still have be in constant contact for the children? I’m not sure how apply what the guide says my specific situation. I ok my of six months for granted During the whole time our relationship lasted her ex was around (She was dating her ex when we met and she left him for me) Her ex was kind of the opposite of me she was constantly telling her how beautiful she was and how perfect she was etc We broke last week and I talk her day and she ld me that being me made her realice she wants a guy like her ex that she wants be him again But here’s the thing: He doesn’t want be back her for now It’s like everything you say on this page happened! He ld her that he moved on he started improve his grades in school etc etc and now she wants him back!! Another important thing is that he doesn’t leave where we do (they are both from the same wn but me and her study in another city) so even if they do get back gether they’re going have a long distance relationship Do I have a shot at this? Should I. Here’s a general rule of thumb If you are not sure she is in a rebound consider it a rebound You still make moves assuming she is in a rebound If it’s not a rebound you will soon realize this by the she replies you. Our childhood is the deepest corner of our psyche that pretty much rules our adult life Talking about childhood and how it affected you is a great understand self and ex on a deeper level Again use creative questions like “Were you closer father or mother?” or “I loved my granny house in the summer It was an amazing family time for me Did you have a place family went for summer vacations?” 3 Other negative relationships Friends family coworker Finding common enemy is a great make friends You can use this advantage Speak about the person she likes the least and try understand why she dislikes her or him By validating her negative emotions about this person you will make her feel undersod. It could be something you address down the lines after NC is over but first establish a friendly relationship her before moving on such a heavy pic Bear in mind as well that by bringing it you risk reminding her of why she broke you which may potentially push her a if she’s the sort get emotionally affected by. Hey so my ex and I have been talking casually after a period of 1 month no contact I initiate contact a majority of the time its all positive a good amount of the time sometimes it is kind of neutral around 2 weeks ago i asked her lunch and she said yes and earlier this past week i called her and we had a pretty good conversation about our past relationship and how we both felt we leaned on each other o much and kind of lost ourselves A day or 2 later while talking she asked me hang out… shes a shy and reserved person by character she even admitted she was very nervous when we met for lunch I feel like were moving in the right direction (ive been following some great advice on here) I just want try get her open more and maybe initiate more contact out feeling nervous I have tried not over text her because i feel i was needy wards the end of our relationship. If you learn empathize and understand her on a deep level the connection she will feel you will be unparalleled So work on these two skills as they are very important in not only getting her back but keeping her forever c) Become More Attractive Physically (Optional) This objective is optional for one very simple reason ex was physically attractive you at one point of time So she will be attracted you again Working on physical appearance does have a few advantages though. If that is the case it might be better (and healthier) consider following through the divorce for now and what typically comes it That includes moving out as any normal divorced situation would because by staying under the same roof while she goes out another guy she’s not going change her attitude wards you and may even take advantage of sincerity and efforts Do understand by following through the divorce ‘steps’ you’re not actually going give (as long as you still want her back) The purpose of moving out and seemingly moving on life is make the entire situation feel real her The I see things right now she has not registered emotionally that the divorce has happened and it needs hit her before any changes can be made That is why she shows no signs of sadness over the situation and can still treat you poorly and start going out other guys in the meantime. When we were having issues and had time apart the first time I requested if i could Have my gold chain back and she said in a reply that i had just ended the relationship For good because she said i should have let her keep it pay her debts? She never had any s she had two freinds whom were both guys one i was not allowed meet? Would appreciate a response as im so mentally lost and confused…. I know it may seem a little extreme suddenly cut all contact from ex but it’s very important and a very effective achieve the objective of this stage Here’s how it will affect you and ex How No Contact Affects You? When you cut ex out of life you will start seeing things clearly and feel better about self You will realize that you can live out ex and life is not so bad after all In most cases you are so addicted having ex in life you can’t imagine a life out her When you sp contacting her you will go cold turkey on this addiction Just like any other addiction you will slowly recover from it and start seeing things clearly It’s very important that you get over the addiction of ex before you reach the third stage of. You could still follow our guidelines but remember that everyone’s situation is different and the guidelines only serve as a rough direction for you take For the time being as I’ve mentioned you could als choose continue be there and sport her or you could choose walk a The ideal time walk a is entirely dependent on you and how badly you want it or rather how much you’re still hurting You would know on what’s for self and whether it may be a better idea simply. Instead you must slowly develop an emotional and physical attraction her You want her get confused about her feelings for you and her commitment her new boyfriend You want her realize that her feelings for you are much stronger than the other guy This is how you make her decide leave him for you How Get Her Back if She is Committed About Her New Relationship? If she is serious about making her new relationship work you will have be very careful and very patient this (Read this article on rebounds find out if she is in a rebound) She wants her new relationship work and is committed her new guy Convincing her be you is going take a lot of patience and a lot. A lot of times guys start obsessing over whether or not their ex misses them Does she miss me? She posted a snapchat sry about a y that I gave her is she thinking about me? Does she still love me? I posted a status and she liked it does it mean she is over me? If that’s you you need understand that priority during no contact is heal and become a better version of self If you try play this game of social media jealousy her you will lose If you find self obsessing over this do not do anything make ex miss you Instead just stay a from social media algether during no contact Common Pitfall 2: Thinking that you don’t need make any changes Listen man it doesn’t matter how awesome you are how many girls are drooling over you or how much you can. “How can she do this me? She ld me she loved me just a cole of weeks ago and now she is sleeping around someone else I am going give her a call and tell her exactly what I think about this and what @$$#@ she and her new boyfriend is.” Or “She is making a huge mistake that guy Her new boyfriend is not the right person for her I am I need speak her immediately and convince her leave the other guy for me If I don’t it may be o late.” In a lot of cases ex may start dating immediately after a break In some cases she might start dating after a week or. A year later her mother passed a through cancer (her mother was living in another part of the country) and I looked after the children and house while still working while she cared for her mother for 6 weeks before her mother passed I tried be sportive following her mothers death but she was clearly grieving for her mother (although they were not as close as my ex made out as she blamed her mother for her fathers sexual abuse of her) The drinking became worse and as did the time she spent on Facebook and talking her ex husband who despite having accused him of raping her both appeared be very friendly for the children’s sake She would also spend lots of time on her phone hiding txts and conversations etc she even asked what would I do if she found someone else and telling me tales of female friend in work and their activities their husbands which were later reveled as the details of more chats she had had men on Facebook That’s great hear Now continue build a positive relationship her and do not let any negative emotions or insecurities get in the of actions. Me and my have been gether for almost 3 years in a long distance relationship We have seen each other a cole of times but not enough that we recently broke We still talk everyday like as if nothing happened between us because of the deep connection we have each other I will be moving very close her next month for college so I hope that would help a lot However recently she just started seeing this guy that she’s really in and i’m not sure what do Long Distance got the of us and although it hurts I hope physical interaction her helps develop our relationship more. Me and my ex were in a short relationship of 3 months I’m still confused if a month of no contact is the go or should it be shorter? Hi me and my gf were gether for 1 year and 3 months and I got in trouble and I was sent alternative school *that’s a long sry* but there was this guy who did the things I used do…Everytime me and her fought I’d look over and she would be over there telling him everything she should of been telling me so we could make us work and she als said that the guy was her brother…but I knew it was something more…I asked her why she was him and why we ended she said because I pushed her a and he was there and how he never left her like I did…what do I do get her back she is constantly posting there videos and pictures on snap she ld me day that she still has feelings for me * so that’s good it’ll be easier win her over right?* Please help me win her back…she said the new guy is doing everything I was sposed do she said she got attached him So even if you are sure that you are better than the other guy don’t get complacent You still might lose her if you don’t play cards right Mistake 2: Talking her about the other guy If comparing self the other guy in mind is a mistake; doing so her is an HUGE MISTAKE If you try tell her how bad the new guy is for her you are only going push her further a and in the new guy’s arms Why? I want you think of a TV show a girl rebelling against her father by dating a douche-bag Someone her father disapproves of There are literally hundreds of TV shows that have made an episode on this plot line (Although for some reason my mind is blank on examples If you think of an episode let me know in the comment section) The reason there are so many TV show episodes based on this is because this is a very common occurrence. My name is Kevin and I’ve been helping people breaks for almost 7 years now I’ve helped thousands of guys just like you get their ex s back This article is everything I wish I had access when I had my first break and wanted get my ex back When she broke my heart left it in pieces and all I could think was how win her back When I couldn’t eat or sleep for days When I woke in the middle of the night crying and feeling lonely no one around me give me good advise If only I knew back then what I know now I hope no other guy feels so hopeless and helpless when they are going through a bad break This is why I’ve made this article FREE for everyone peruse But before you read forward I want you know that this guide is focused on winning her back and KEEPING HER in a healthy long lasting relationship. Elvis yes ex had classic traits of BPD Of course this does not mean she would have been diagnosed as she seemed be perfectly functional and her coping mechanisms seemed be working keep her anxiety at a manageable level sadly at expense You certainly dodged a bullet One of the keys recovery from one of these breaks is recognize that the reason you didn’t see these signs is because of own personality traits It’s fine if you’re going have face her but perhaps limit small one--one talk her during the event itself Be friendly but focus on friends instead presence could easily affect her depending on whether she still has feelings for you and this would be a good opportunity show off the changes you’ve made since. Encountering these kinds of setbacks when trying win ex back is common Some people take longer than others and face more difficulty but not all hope is lost as long as you’re patient You should avoid pouring heart out her the next time you come in contact but rather rebuild the friendship first before leading it further on (if the opportunity presents itself) For the time being however focus on self and just do things keep positive. If you are in this stage you risk ending in the friend zone This usually happens guys who are o afraid speak about difficult pics and try stay in the safe zone In other words this usually happens guys who are o scared lose her Guys who are scared that the wrong move will make her sp talking you Who are scared that if you screw she will block you and never speak you again If you look at it from another angle this happens guys who are still insecure at this stage and have no confidence Guys who have put their ex on a pedestal and refuse let her down If she feels that you are o timid and really want her in life feel good about self she will keep you in her life but as a friend She loved you and probably cares about you but she will not get back you out of pity She will keep you as a friend and use you for emotional sport though. Hi Ryan thank you for answer I will try not think about it o much However does that mean i should start the nc all over again because we talked? The conversation ended really quickly that was. But most guys (who end being dumped) are not genuine in showing affection If you are showing affection just because you want something in return (sex appreciation acceptance end an argument out resolving it) it’s going come off as insincere And slowly she is going realize that you are not doing it because you mean it But because you sub consciously want something in return And if she starts feeling like that every time you show her affection it’s going make her a little bit less attracted wards you Every time you say something sweet her it’s going make her feel you want something in return A lot of times won’t even realize this is happening She will slowly feel like she doesn’t feel the same about you and break you You Gave her Whatever She Wanted If you are just reading this article a few days after break it might be a bit o much for you think all this through right now So you might want bookmark this article and come back it at a later stage when you have calmed down and can think rationally How Fix Loss of Attraction and Get Her Back? You can make ex attracted you again easily once you learn how fix the deep rooted insecurity that pushed her a The thing is it’s not very easy fix this deep rooted insecurity that most guys have We will talk about this in the next section when we talk about becoming more confident She Does not See a Future You (and She Lost Connection) A lot of times ex- may have broken you because she does not feel a connection you anymore This is usually the case when you were gether for a very long time (more than. 2 Get Her Smile or Laugh at something you said If ex laughs or smiles at something you said you can be sure that she has eased around you and will give you a chance rebuild attraction and connection Here’s are some s do this Use a Past Memory Think of something that you both enjoyed And use it advantage This could be a TV show a youtube channel a videogame or a coffee shop Think something funny about it or think of something a pleasant memory And then just text her about it Here’s an example “Remember that burger place we used frequent? Well I just remembered how I once almost reached the hall of fame for finishing the ser large burger when we were drunk and threw all of it only minutes later You made fun of me for hours Good times.” Think of a Joke What’s funny and wants his. We were broken and you made a decision for self You’re finding out some answer what you need and even if this new relationship isn’t what’s or better than you think ours could be and all that you might need time a from me heal and decide that it’s okay let me back in life If you still loved me and wanted me in life you wouldn’t be so confused I’m not going contribute that confusion I should’ve chosen go through breaking ties or be there you instead of sitting in the lousy in-between I think if we spend time gether now you’d have a hard time remembering how I drove you a and thinking about you being someone else is very unpleasant for me and I’m focusing on being the I can be Choosing not distract you or myself is me being decisive. If you feel like crying go ahead and cry If you feel like punching the wall in anger go ahead and punch the wall in anger (or choose punch the pillow and avoid the regret) The point is grief is hard and painful Accept it It only gets better time (although you can fast track this I’ll talk about it in the 5th part of this article) But you must also balance out the grief something positive and constructive Use this time Become a better version of self Healing alone will not be enough get ex back if she has moved on a new boyfriend You need become a better person Here are a few things I believe you should work on if you want win her back and keep her forever Confidence: The most attractive trait a guy. As time went by I felt isolated from familly and friends work was stressful and I had no life I had suffered for many years from her drinking gambling lack of emotion wards me lack of sex gaslighting and put downs I tried commit suicide I was low and worthless However the relationship ended certainly we didn;t live gether but she strung me along for a few months coming between where we lived and where her son lived some 300 miles a While we were apart she would als threaten self harm and emotionally blackmail me for money We went on 2 holidays (I paid of course because I was trying show her how much I loved her) however she said she did not love me I had pushed her a Her son ld me she had been cheating on me for a while I read these articles and it was a tal relief I thought I was crazy and the problems and blame was all me I clearly see that it wasn’t now. Me and my girlfirend were gether for a year and a half After some of her mental health issues deteriorated she suddenly broke me She said she hadn’t been sure whether she loved me for a while and her feelings faded as her mental health got worse But only a few days before she was telling me how in love me she was She was als going around her friends telling them how lucky she felt have me this never spped It was just so sudden we were so happy and there was so much we had look forward She has messaged me 4 times since I havn’t read them because I want go through no contact first and i’m scared if i read them then i’ll break it i dont know what do because shes in such a fragile situation but i love her so much please. Thanks for reply Ryan I wont do any reckless act because of the dateline I will take my time and see if anything changes I will happily move on if nothing happens Is that gonna be ok? Or should I completely drop the plan of getting her back and move on? I hope you can give me a clear advice. Start by picking self after all this and focus on making these positive changes self that would allow her finally see you in a different light You don’t have use words but instead use actions prove her The chance will als be there since you share a kid gether but it’s not something be taken for granted either. I’m reading all this and am confused My ex left me over 18 months ago and I’m still searching for answers as why Our relationship had never been perfect (who’s is?) I flirted another man a few years in the relationship after I confided in them regarding my ex not wanting live me marry have children Stid yes but it didnt go beyond flirting My ex who had never trusted me found out after hacking in my computer We argued etc I loved the ex dearly At first she was “alternative” cool relaxed sensible and (I thought) mature We are very similar people the same philosophy on life get along very well etc She was 30 I had been beginning recover from some serious family issues and a very bad “encounter” a previous girl I recognize that I brought my issues the table I was cool the relationship for a long time because I was recovering emotionally (I even ld her “I don’t want lose you as a friend I don’t want go out because I’m not in good condition.”) But I was als honest decent and loyal and flexible o unless it was unavoidable work and study commitments Since the break I have been o generous o her o nice in messages and I still have problems talking honestly about how she was behaving so I think I’m leaving stuff. If the time comes and she breaks her boyfriend perhaps start by building a closer friendship her again by regaining her trust and comfort before attempting move on anything However remember take things slow or you may end being the rebound for her break instead. Be honest throughout our relationship it als seemed like she has commitment issues she would als keep her exes around as friends and then go start hanging out one of them anytime her and i have some type of fight usually her flings are short lived and she ends coming back me somehow needless say i really care about this women but i am definitely looking shift the dynamic and end this vicious cycle of disrespect. If she says no getting back gether you shouldn’t get angry and/or make all the mistakes mentioned in the stage 1 of this article In a lot of cases ex might say no initially when you talk about getting back gether But sometimes they change their mind after a few days If she says no it’s important you stay calm and composed Give her a few days time and then start rebuilding attraction and connection again If she still says no the second time it’s time cut losses and move on 3 Keep Her for Good Now that you have ex back all you have do is keep working on the relationship and making it stronger You need work on developing a deep connection her so she never even thinks about leaving you Keep working on improving the connection Just because you have her doesn’t mean you should sp working on the connection you. Be frank you can’t If the relationship has ended you won’t have a say in the matter until you get back gether her since she’s free do whatever she wants at this point The thing you can do right now is actually spend this cole of weeks making the positive changes life as you had planned If the relationship her was a meaningful one she will take notice of these changes Follow the guidelines found in our articles on steps winning. A deep connection is the difference between lovers who stay gether forever and lovers who are gether for only a short time If you can learn develop a deep connection the woman you love you are going etch self in her heart like no one else before you You will be able turn even the biggest flaker in a loyal loving 1 Increase Frequency and intensity of interaction her You want slowly increase the amount of time you and ex speak Once you are able make her smile or laugh she should be open hear more from you do that you must take initiative and start texting her more often However you must not overdo it as overdoing it will make you look needy or desperate Here’s a sample timeline you can follow. Firstly the guy could be either or as she did not jump in things immediately after the break It would really depend on how she views it and you’ll probably need a clearer picture As for flying over you could make sure you’re on good terms her first before the date but I would also suggest finding out if there’s any chance she still has feelings for you because it could very well go south if you show unannounced but she is in a happy relationship. Despite everything you did chances are you were forced come the conclusion that although you had no idea what could have caused this transformation you were not going be able resolve it You probably eventually found the courage end the relationship You may have at first thought you must be the only one taken down by this crazy-making cycle of false accusations and endless circular arguments But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional. Perhaps you could also make these changes more visible her through the use of social media highlight the positive changes you’ve made known and increase her awareness. I really don’t see myself sleeping another woman I really do want her back Even if it means sacrificing sex for her She started dating this guy 3 weeks after our break and it’s been 2 months now Do I still have a chance her if so what can I do. You must remind self that life will keep throwing challenges at you You must learn pick self and get back in the game You need keep moving forward Here’s a video I recommend you watch when you are feeling down 4 Accept the Break (optional until Stage 3) Ultimately you need reach “The Acceptance” stage of the break That means you need accept that ex broke you and past relationship is over You can start a new relationship her and that relationship may be an amazing one But the past relationship is over and there is nothing you can do. Alright mates this is the final boss The moment you have been waiting for Because when you meet her you will have the ultimate opportunity show her how much you have changed and how things will be different this time 1 Asking Her Out on a second date When you meet her you should have just one goal in mind get her agree second date The first time you meet her she will be testing the water Can I really have a fun time him? Has he really changed? Is this all just a ruse get me back in that same miserable relationship? Is he going pressure me in getting back gether? She is going be skeptical about a lot of things And for good reasons You both had a relationship and it ended badly It’s job put her at ease It’s job get her enjoy her time you Here are a few pointers – So i asked her about going eat and she said “so my partner was definitely not okay it Dinner might not be a good until he realizes we are just friends He means alot me and as do you but he is my partner and you know better than anyone id never go against my partners wishes Im sorry i hope you understand.” Then i asked if they were actually dating and she said “no no i still stand where i stand on dating im o busy and not ready But he is my partner and someone i enjoy being around.” I responded saying “no worries i understand.” She then responded saying “thank you for not being immature about it i know its not easy hear You’ve grown so much since we’ve parted and im soo proud. It’s hard know what make of this situation because there are such loose boundaries and so much chaos on. You lost someone you truly love and wanted be It’s going hurt It’s going hurt a lot When you first start no contact you are going grieve a lot You are going feel all the emotions that people going through grief feel You will feel denial anger depression confusion and obsession Break Grief is a roller coaster ride Sometimes you will feel like crap and sometimes you will feel much better about self The key is let self feel the emotions and still keep working on self If you feel like crying let it out If you feel anger shout out loud But remember als balance it out and als keep in mind that you need become a better version of self if you want her back Occasionally you must pick self and realize that there is much more life than relationships. It would be better if you do not meet her or attend these occasions for the time being especially while she is gether her boyfriend because under these circumstances you’ll be the one seen as in the wrong However if you still intend do so perhaps limit intimacy and treat her as a normal friend for now but it would if you limit contact algether during this period. If she is being immature about this thing and blasting her new relationship all over Facebook twitter Instagram snapchat or her WhatsApp status you should block her In some cases ex might be immature enough play this post break game of who is doing better This in reality is a sign that she still loves you and is not over you But if you can’t sp obsessing over her you won’t be able focus on self You won’t be able calm down heal and become more confident This is why you must block her from all social media This will not make her forget about you and move on On the contrary when you take the power she has over you; she is going panic and will be forced look inside herself and realize that she really misses you and her new relationship is shallow I am so sorry you were hurt I have recently been diagnosed BPD and want you know that it is NOT you In my case I “loved” the person deeply but didn’t know how show it My love was abuse As a BPD partner I want apologize for whatever hurt you endured Love self I hope you. She’s a nice person who has some serious issues (condition?) where she can’t communicate deeply or resolve conflicts Some things (often trivial or unavoidable things) make her unhappy but she can’t talk about them and can’t even resolve them herself She literally just ignores them and pretends there is no problem But they grow over years until she becomes miserable and doesn’t even know why I can’t claim that my experience was financially or physically abusive as other sries here but it’s been traumatizing because after 5 years a woman I’ve discovered that she probably was never in love me and had been manipulating me for years unconsciously and doesn’t even. I would suggest giving her some space cool down before trying talk her again Since the break happened only a few days ago it would be a better idea give her a cole of weeks before dropping her the message. Want talk you personally is it possible… //does this sound like a BPD/nice guy situation? And what can you recommend that I do move on from this? I feel like blocking her on social media might help as I can’t express myself knowing that she can see my movements and I am als tempted look at her profile and keep seeing pictures of her her new boyfriend which make me feel so hollow and confused. Notice how texting and calling her all the time are coming out of neediness and desperation instead of a genuine desire speak her and enjoy a conversation her Mistake 3: Telling Her How Much You Love Her and You Will Do Everything for Her Grief Stage: Bargaining Example: “I’ll do anything get her back I’ll marry her morrow if I must I will agree whatever she wants from me and do anything make her happy.” Now that she has broken you she doesn’t care how much you love her and what you are willing do for her (Note: It may have worked before the break in some cases But it’s not quite the same after the break) If you tell her how much you love her now it’s just going make you look needy and desperate win her back It’s going turn her off and make her respect. There’s probably a few more bits in there I’ve forgotten but essentially I’m not sure what do now She messaged me first day about something trivial and I read it and then ignored her I really don’t know what do about this Should I tell her I need space again? I have no idea… I’ve made such a mess of things at this point I think she still has feelings for me be honest but I don’t know I don’t want. Some guys reading this page might have done something that hurt their ex terribly These may include You cheated on her You were abusive her (verbally or physically) You betrayed her trust in some (monetary or emotional cheating) How get her back if you cheated on her or did something hurt her? The key winning ex- back in this situation is show her a ray of hope before anything else And the show her a ray of hope is accept where you screwed figure out why you did it and work on understanding self The fact is if you hurt her once there’s a good chance you will hurt her again And if you don’t trust self enough not hurt her again then she wouldn’t either. When you lose the girl you love you are bound panic You activate the fight or flight response in brain And when brain is panicking it doesn’t think logically Instead it relies on instincts It goes in overdrive trying make sense of it all and in a state of panic it makes you do things that ultimately pushes ex a 1 Sp Panicking And Pushing Ex A The goal of this stage is get self sp panicking and pushing ex a do that you must Understand the Grief You are Going Through Right Now Understand What Pushes Her A 1 Understand the Grief You are Going Through Right Now Break grief is a bitch That’s the I can put this Once you lose ex someone you loved dearly you are likely go through the five stages of grief The stages namely. How can I follow all these steps if I have a 2 year old son my ex fiancé ? We just broke 10 days ago I’m 22 and she’s 21 & very mature for our age How do I approach this a son ? She left me after 4 years of being gether because I didn’t appreciate her didn’t do all the little things for her didn’t pay attention as much as I should’ve And most importantly never trusted her and accused her of doing something behind my back which lead arguments I know what I did wrong I 100% understand But now obviously she won’t take me back She said “she wants love me but won’t believe I’ll change for good” so now I’m moving out and talking about how share cusdy of our son What do. Hi Not sure if my 45yr old ex gf has BPD or npd but she cheated on me multiple times before breaking over what she said was lifestyle differences because my home was o modern,I was clean and tidy,I didn’t drink and her teen daughter hates said we didn’t know each other and shouldn’t have lived gether,that I wasn’t who they thought I was and that her kid will als hate she was confused and didn’t know what she wanted and that you never know what may happen in a few months. It’S important that you build enough attraction and connection over the phone before asking her out Common Pitfall: Letting her get a rise out of you In a lot of cases ex will do or say things that she knows will make you angry She will try get you react and act the you acted in past relationship It’s important that you remain calm in these situations If something makes you angry or set you should address it but you should not do it the you used do You should breathe calm down and tell her clearly what makes you set and what are boundaries. When it comes getting ex back from her new boyfriend you must have a game plan Read this article on getting ex back find out what the basic plan is And yeah it’s free I’ve designed that guide in stages just like a video game It will help you figure out exactly what do in each stage of getting her back If you are o lazy read it here’s the gist. For a lot of guys reading this the idea of accepting the break will be a ugh one You may even trick self in thinking that you have accepted the break when you are secretly still hoping that things will go back the they were So consider this as an optional objective for now That means you can move on Stage 2 out completing this objective But you need finish this objective before you move on Stage 3 5 Spend Time Loved Ones (optional) One of the reasons our minds panic so hard after a break is because of our deep rooted fear of being alone Of being left out in the world Of never being loved But chances are you have a lot of people in life that love you care about you and want you. Diego there are two areas at work for those who are experiencing the excruciating pain of a BPD break One of the aspects is neurological having do the chemical surges associated being in love The other area is purely psychological We have no know how much of pain is from being in love and having the object of love ripped a from you no warning explanation or closure or if pain is coming from the kind of psychological childhood wounds that we all carry around us Because there is nothing we can do interfere the chemical rush of being in love that can last a year or more some of this pain will have be endured until the focus brain has on this woman finally dissipates The psychological aspect however can be addressed We live in times where therapy for psychological wounds stemming from childhood can be accessed by most people. If you are reading this article immediately after a break response might be “Of course she is worth getting back I love her and she is one in a million.” But you are seeing her through the rose colored lenses of post break denial This is why I have included this task in stage 2 of this mission Once you have accepted the break and have gone through grief after a break you will need figure out whether she is worth it Here is one article that will help you do that And read below for some actionable tips. Thanks so much for time and for all this articles that have helped me understand what I´m going trough. Me and my had been gether for 4 months and I decided break off because she doesn’t want have sex before marriage I said her that I can’t wait that long and I’m still in college and don’t want something serious But 2 months later I knew from someone that she is dating someone else I didn’t got frustrated at first but weeks later I did What should I do in this situation She seem pretty serious this other guy and I know she won’t give her virginity that easily Should I get her back and wait for sex or should I just move on and go a relationship sex? Any advice? She and I work gether every day we own a business gether we have three years of shared memories many of them good Yesterday she invited me over fix a ilet move a new washer and dryer in her house we had a few drinks watched some tv and talked about business Last week we went lunch went clothes shopping and I put new windshield washers on her car Her new guy is not handy like I am but I think he’s more successful at this time I’m hoping it’s just a rebound She tells me things like “She can’t change her mind right now but will continue think about it” (pertaining us getting back gether) Is there hope for me or should I move on? She is my friend but since the break- there are obviously many things we don’t talk about any longer Not long ago she was begging me marry her and buy a new house gether now that I’ve agreed she’s no longer interested. Hey George Just text her using the template mentioned above Be honest about how you feel about the whole situation You need plant an idea in her mind that you have changed and things might be different Once you have done that back off again for a. You could follow this article on how handle events where meeting ex in unavoidable As for chances I would say that it’s definitely still there except that it would take time and No Contact would actually be more for you instead of her where you pick emotional state and improve self during this time Ultimately if you want win her you’re going have give her a reason actually want you back in order succeed. Sort this aspect out first and it’s personally better start of on a clean state than try and mend the broken pieces where they stand Moving out is the first key thing do followed by son After that focus on getting life gether from there NC other than matters relating son before contacting her again as a changed person. If she has commitment issues this becomes something you don’t have control over until she finally decides settle down It could be from whatever past baggage she carries but I would suggest working on self become an improved person so that if she meets you down the road again her impression of you changes and she thinks of you as someone who shouldn’t be friendzoned. Mark that is rough – very rough! I would say my ex qualifies more in the ‘traits’ vs ‘diagnosed’ arena and only a few exceptions the irrational behavior was only directed at me though I guess you could even argue that the faked suicide was also directed at you My ex essentially treats others care and kindness even strangers Most people describe her as lovely I thought when I hit the anger stage I was on the healing but sometimes recently find myself back in the sad and hurt stage I definitely fall in the nice guy category and if I had known about BPD before drawing the line and leaving would probably still be trying get through her and helping her get treated That’s what a partner is sposed do -right? So I have read a few articles in here get a game plan but due certain things nothing has gone as the articles say I really need some tailored advice my situation ASAP because me and my broke April 13th and will be hanging out for the first first time april 22nd so I really need somebody advice on what. Hi Joanna //I’m 27 and I was this girl for 4 – 5 years We met at university in my final year and she was in her first year We only had a few months gether before I was due leave but she fell for me instantly I was popular at university and I was DJing at the time I think she saw me as the social prize as I was well-liked and a nice guy She rebounded straight on me instantly from a 3-year relationship which she never explained I thought the world of her but I loved her back at a slightly slower pace I have abusive parents so I was susceptible the love-bomb. Thank you Can you also reply my previous question if a NC phase can take o long? And my friend is giving a bday party this friday she will be there o Is it okay if I don’t go since I’m emotionaly unstable or could she be turned off if I dont come since I’m avoiding her on purpose? Thanks Oliver Thanks for the reply We had many healthy conversations over issues in the past about each other’s past but I spose this pic might be different I’m starting get a good place mentally When I think about her now I smile instead of cry even though I miss her greatly and I’m trying not get my hopes and pre-accept that she doesn’t want get back gether just. Long sry short my ex and I dated for a month long distance and we were close friends for a year prior I feel she lost all attraction because my personality was depressing and she says that it’s not my fault its just how she sees the person and she sees me as a friend d doesn’t like me This happened 2 months ago and we’re in co tact now after no contact Any advice? Hi I hope this gets read in time My of 11 months asked for space I was trying but got a bit needy and Space turned full break so she can feel free think out the pressure of me wanting it all be alright NOW THE QUESTION After saying she wants break she said she wanted us be friends and run this Spartan Race her as a friend ld her I wasn’t sure I could I waited a day and then ld her yes as friends Now I’m doing no contact for 10 days until the race I plan play it cool at the race – be funny light and impressive But what happens after? Do I go back no contact or start the text process? or skip getting her out for a coffee date? Almost everyone has a deep desire be undersod and accepted by someone they love and are attracted By being confident and looking attractive; you can make her attracted you; but you won’t get her fall deeply in love you unless you work on emotional intelligence (we will talk more about it in the Advanced Tactics section discussed later in this article) Part 4: Re-Establishing contact an Ex- Who has a new Boyfriend In this section we are going talk about re-establishing contact ex- When she is dating someone else you must consider a few things before contacting ex Should you wait for her dump her new boyfriend before contacting her? As I said before there’s a pretty good chance her new relationship is a rebound and it will end sooner. What was my weak spot ? Mom says I shoulda given her an ultimatum when she began drinking and abusing me shape or ship out I did express my needs in wanting a 50/50 partnership counselling for her,me and the child but she refused in the end I got tiired of trying and drew I did all of the housework even cleaning after her own kids I paid all the bills mom said she was using me and deep down I knew it but she wasn’t als like this the first 2 years were ok except for housework and financials she didn’t start the drinking or abuse till our sencond year I feel I was disrespected and abused cause I wasn’t the type of man she wanted she wanted a chump that would allow her do as she pleased his only reward being sex her new man is just like this he is wealthy and doesn’t care for tidiness and most likely won’t care if she cheats so long as she doesn’t leave and she won’t so long as he continues comply. In addition there will be actionable tips objectives or steps in the articles Consider this as mini objectives that you can take action on These actionable objectives are very practical and easy understand as opposed the other things involving dating relationships and breaks You will also find common pitfalls in each section of the article These are common mistakes that most people make during each stage of getting back gether their ex In some places I’ll link other articles on this website which will provide more information on a particular pic These additional articles serve as splement articles this detailed guide But they are in no a replacement for this So you should read this guide in it’s entirety before moving on any of these splement articles. She replied a message saying she wasn’t in making big decisions this person “just chill stuff” she hopes I have a safe trip and she looks forward dinner me I sent her this I just want make sure you’re not trying put out a fire so speak and make me feel better Getting back gether on those kind of terms didn’t work out on that first Christmas from my end I had a hard time believing things would get better then and you don’t know how serious I am or if I’ll actually last now We also don’t want be bitter about this situation and faking it. If she really has made her mind go depending on the her character and how she feels about you there may not be much you can do get her stay You could go along a reply that wishes her all the for the interview but cheekily add a hint that you’ll miss her if she goes and see how she responds it Additionally you can have a read through this article regarding what do if ex may be moving. Actions at the end by apologizing and ending things on a positive note may have saved you from ruining chances after the blackmailing and threats You’re probably going have start no contact and give her some space for now If she wants date someone else as you’ve said its her choice but once NC ends you can try contacting her again build something meaningful again and this would be easier do given that things didn’t end on a. Email address will not be published Required fields are marked *Message Name * E-mail address * Website Kino is simply a term that is used describe the art of uching You want have as much physical contact you ex as possible during this date Hold her hand when you are crossing the street uch her shoulders or arms when she says something funny You should also use intimate actions as much as you can Actions that only coles do each other For example Use a tissue wipe something off her face Ask her taste food and feed her from spoon Don’t ask her out on a second date just yet job is show her a great time and show her that you have changed and are well equipped for a healthy relationship You don’t want end the date asking her on a second date Instead you want let this experience linger in her mind for a while You want her go home and think “That was great I want do. Perhaps wait a cole of days before texting her again and see if she texts you first in that duration This person might genuinely be a good friend or it might be something else but either getting jealous over it may result in bringing insecurities and those emotions may show resulting in her closing you Continue trying build the bond her and perhaps even arrange for a. Yes a part of her wants you win her back so she doesn’t have go through the break pain But that’s only a small part of her A huge part of her wants stay broken because that’s what she decided do (this was also the case my client in the above example) Okay then i will put the limit during her and her family. Rose you’re absolutely right I truly scoff at anyone who believes that the break of two individuals should be blamed entirely on the partner BPD This is simply untrue- it takes a certain type of person attract these individuals particularly an emotionally fractured one I would know this because I dated a Borderline woman myself I feel after healing and moving on that the two of us should share blame for the fallout of the relationship There is a great deal of misinformation available online about BPD and I wish it would be dated or corrected. This guide is for you if you want ex back ex wife back or ex fiancé back This guide is for you if you are a teenager in high school you in 20s 30s 40s or even 50s This guide is for you if ex dumped you And it’s for you if you broke ex and still want her back This guide is NOT for you if you are looking for tricks or manipulation get her back How does this guide work? This guide is divided in stages Just like a video game Each stage will have objectives for you accomplish Some of these objectives will be optional The optional objectives are not important win her back permanently but they definitely help in the process and they will increase chances significantly. Things got worse I was excluded from nights out we never went anywhere as a cole I was only asked if I wanted go anywhere after decisions had been made I felt excluded and unloved and left her when despite me asking for us go on holiday gether she decided go a her daughter and daughters friend It was the last straw and I left the home however I still contributed financially This was 8 years in the relationship Like a fool I let her back in my life we decided make a go of things as the children were all grown and moved out we moved a new area for a fresh start Things were good for 2 years I bought a new house (the house she chose however she later accused me of not allowing her make the big decisions in our relationship). Hi Ryan/Kevin 1st contact message went well She apologized for hurting me twice after that saying it was one of her biggest regrets I didn’t reply She plainly apologized a third time but I got ser affectionate in accepting it and she didn’t reply after she broke me b/c she still felt in love her ex Said she loves me as well though Worth working get her back? Been a few other girls since then but it does not feel the same P.S we had actually gone through all these stages of recovery out knowing it about this site Basically I got the point where I was about meet her casually but blew it and made things awkward Her close friend said I was definitely not a rebound Ex said she needs heal Advice on how proceed? Thinking of texting her again but afraid i’d be on a third chance Idk if she moved on Thank you in advance. Additionally her mother played a big role in our relationship (although her mother’s own relationship her husband was non-existent) She had this false sense of insecurity from her mother (largely from her mother’s doing) that her father would leave her mother again and out anything (her parents attempted divorce when she was a child but reconciled for the children’s sake). Joanna Thank you for these posts and this wonderful website I have spent the past two years devastated due a divorce from a woman that I now strongly believe had bpd I wish i could’ve encountered this website months or years before our marriage You could meet her and gauge from there but if you really do feel friendzoned at this point and she’s dating someone else you might be better off considering letting her go for now build some distance so that if she ever ends things her partner and you contact her again the odds of her seeing you as only a friend may be slightly lower. Would you consider this a case where i am being friend zoned if she has ask her “partner” about meeting ? And so should i be letting go of this now ? If so how should i go about doing it ? Im confused about what do at this point Just a few weeks ago she ld me how she still loves me and Her and i still talk everyday through text. My and I broke about a week ago We dated for about 7 months which I know isn’t long but I felt as if it would’ve lasted longer Before we broke she was getting in these moods where she didn’t feel anything and no matter what I did she still felt empty So we broke A cole days ago I invited her over and showed her all of the memories of us and asked for her back She obviously said no which is where I am day Over the past cole hours I’ve tried sound more sad in the texts and distance myself the no contact part It is almost the end of the school year and in a month we agreed meet and see if she feels anything then Do you think that is a good plan and begin the no contact? Thank you this article really helped give me. Joanna Nicola says: Z they do lose the beautiful memories But they don't experience. My ex fiance and I broke a few years ago after we had our child gether Because of our child we are in constant contact and are on friendly terms Since the we’ve still been sleeping gether off and on She’s recently started talking another guy and constantly assures me he’s just a friend despite the dates and late night hang outs I bought the EBP guide but I’m not sure which strategy follow since we fell in multiple categories Should I follow one or is there a mix that I should follow? Guys who are passionate about things other than their s are instantly seen as more confident and less insecure Actionable Tips (Important) Figure out one hobby career goal or life goal that you are interested in or passionate about It should be something that you can get better at and eventually become an expert at Something that you can become the in wn at if you work hard enough or long enough Spend at least 10 hours a week working on it Bonus: Get Ex- Miss You During No Contact (Optional) This objective is again optional The reason is simple the no contact period is more about you and less about ex Getting her miss you will help you in the short term but is not very effective over the. So what are things look out for that would be considered being friendzoned ? And i am stuck in limbo here on whether let go or hold on I do want the relationship back badly but i am losing hope Theres no guidelines on when you need. Have a question? We have an active comment section Scroll down read the comments Before commenting read commenting guidelines. And the do that is ask her out on a gro activity A camping trip a concert a special event or a mutual friend’s party These are all great s give her an excuse see you out making her feel like she is betraying her new boyfriend Get Ex- Dump Her New Boyfriend If you have followed everything in this article then ex- will probably dump her new boyfriend by herself But if she needs a little push you must give her a strong reason dump her new boyfriend for you The do that is if you can show her (not tell her); that everything will be different this time You need do this in a that doesn’t make it look like you are just doing this get her back You need show her that you have really changed for the better and you are going be this whether or not you get. In every relationship it will take both parties for it work out If she’s decided this all on her own and is very firm on her resolve even if there were things that could’ve been done ‘adapt’ each other she is no longer interested in them at this point My suggestion is that you probably have win her back all over again as if it were the first time and that probably can’t happen right now as it is still o soon You could try again after another month but keep in mind that you’re going win her back from square one because it seems like she has already moved on during the month’s break between the two. Note Readers: I’d like take a moment thank all of you who have taken the time post in my comments section questions opinions and personal sries form an invaluable contribution this important discussion If you would like learn the Nicola Method so you can put an end the high conflict situations you may be experiencing click on this link the welcome page of this website where you will find the resources. Hi I was in a relationship my ex for 4 years and have completed 2 months of no contact The relationship ended on fairly good terms I recently initiated contact my ex and we shared a few messages for 2 days (just 1 or 2 messages per day) We did not talk about anything serious or the past relationship However she has not replied my last message for 3 days now I know I should not panic as she is quite busy work/uni at the moment but am just wondering how I should approach things now Thanks! I don’t want you think about what ex ld you at the time of breaking you She might have used one of those bogus generic lines like “It’s not you it’s me” “I am just not in love you anymore.” “I think of us as more like friends” “I just don’t see a future you.” In a lot of cases ex might not be aware of what caused the break I am going try list out some of the most common reasons here that you may be able relate She Does Not Feel Attracted You Anymore This will be the case for most of the guys reading this article Here are a few examples of when a girl loses attraction. If you still live gether her and genuinely want her back you could start by being sweet her and showing her that you’ve changed actions If she has only recently started going out someone new then it’s still easier convince her before she gets o emotionally invested let things go. It depends entirely on what you prioritize as more important you her. Friends and family can be a very effective healing ol When you spend time them and notice how they care about you and love you sub-conscious mind will calm down realizing that you are not alone in this world That you are loved and you will survive even if you have lost ex This part is optional because a lot of guys don’t have loving families Some guys don’t even have very close friends If that’s the case you fret not You can still get ex back But you must make a note in mind make new friends good friends you can trust when you are ready in the future. Hi! I am writing you because i have a doubt and hope you will make light me I’ve begun de NC process and i realize that after a week is my ex birthtday and i don’t know what do should I tell her “Happy birthday!” not be rude Or should i continue the NC process? Do I have take it all over again if i tell her “Happy b-day” ? Reading this in the paper I realised that happened was not a normal “intimate” loving relationship between two adults I was als vaguely aware that something was very wrong in our relationship The circular arguments hitting flirting others and so on were not normal But I als made excuses and hoped it would improve; that you would grow The love-bombing had worked I really thought I had met my soulmate and I felt our relationship was o special lose I was o much of a coward force the conversation you I was o scared walk out I naively felt a responsibility wards you I had promised you that I loved you that I’d love you forever and I felt that I had be a man of my word I’ll ashamedly admit that I began believe only broken girls who needed my help could possibly be interested. We do provide personal one--one coaching Kevin at a subscription rate if you’re interested. Perhaps you could post the letter on our forum page and the community could effectively give you feedback. Chances are ex still has feelings for you She might also have some negative feelings about the break or the reasons that lead the break Getting her talk about these things can work advantage if you do it right Even if she talks about something negative about you or past relationship you should not take it a bad sign If she is sharing something you (even if it’s negative) it means that she is trying convince herself get back gether It’s actually a good sign You can prove her that you have really changed by remaining calm You show her that you can handle conflict and negative feelings like a pro But it can also affect you badly if you are not prepared This is why it’s important that you get shit gether as mentioned in stage 2 of. The truth is though no girl is attracted a weak guy If you act like you are miserable out her she will just get less and less attracted you until she decides cut you off from her life Mistake 2: Calling and Texting Her All the time Grief Stage: Denial Example: That’s what I’m hoping That she needs a breather But I don’t know how long she is there for My plan was give her 2 months and wait for her contact me If She doesn’t try I was gonna book a flight and give it my last shot before I. Besides there is als a chance her rebound relationship turns in a serious one in the future And there’s als a chance her serious relationship ends in shambles just like a rebound Part 2: Doing No Contact When She is Her New Boyfriend A lot of guys are resistant wards the idea of doing no contact when their ex starts dating someone else If I don’t stay in uch her she will keep getting closer the other guy and will fall in love him I need stay in her radar and make sure she doesn’t forget about me I can’t let them get closer while I sit here and do nothing Doing no contact is important if ex is dating someone else Here’s why. Try not project emotions on her and keep things cheerful and friendly If she sees you as only a friend for now it may be advisable try and mix things a little out being o pushy (flirt a little but play it cool if she doesn’t respond the you want her ) and definitely work on issues especially if you’re feeling depressed about something in particular. In most cases you can tell this simply by the she speaks you If she has not started a relationship him yet; she will respond you more frequently and will enjoy the attention she will receive from you She will want weigh her options before making a decision How do you increase chances? If you have done everything right till now (the steps mentioned in part 3 of this article); she will notice the changes in you and will start doubting her decision of breaking you goal is try get her meet you as soon as possible (Read Stage 4 of this article) But if you have not healed till now and you are not ready; she will choose the other guy over you and might even decide commit him If you are not emotionally and mentally ready reconnect her you should let her get in a rebound Me and my gf were in a relationship for more than 5 ly she breaked me because she is attracted another help me how go through this and get. Steve this really hits home It’s sad because when I think of my ex of only a month I imagine the same fate for him and it breaks my heart I’ve also taken writing about all the positive things I can learn from the situation about how it won’t break me about how I’ve als been able come through a new skill given a bad situation that makes me more of a useful ol for myself and those I love and who love me sry is almost exactly the same as mine and the cycle you write about is the same (in re abuse) Thank you for sharing It gives me a bit of peace of mind and maybe I’ll have a nightmare-less sleep thanks it! Honesty and good communication is the key a healthy relationship If you learn how be honest and communicate effectively in relationship then every time you both have an argument it will just bring you both closer Yes you will get closer every time you have a disagreement So learn the skills needed for that (Again join the EBP Basics E-course for that) Actionable Tips (Very Important) Go on a date New at least twice a month Work on passions for at least 10 hours a month Common Pitfalls: Getting Complacent Getting complacent is the number one reason most guys end losing the love of their life You may get complacent about self Or about relationship. Before you officially begin no contact was ex fully aware of how you felt regarding the entire situation? Or did she regard it as you simply not being able commit because you didn’t feel strongly enough for her? I suggest making intentions and thoughts clear since this contributes a healthy communication system If she is fully aware and is still giving you the cold shoulder then you should start on NC give her some space cool off and let go of any negative emotions she feels. Perhaps start by texting if you’re worried she may respond negatively wards you in public and build a level of comfort through there but perhaps make small initiations as well in school. I would recommend initiating contact first and depending on her situation (if she’s still dating or not) decide then whether build attraction or go at a slower pace You can follow the guidelines of breaking no contact here. Daniel let me interject remind you that most women possess the personality traits of emotional sensitivity that make them susceptible behaviors associated BPD both in their romantic relationships and during and after divorce When highly emotional women for whatever reason do not obtain solid skills of emotional regulation in early life they may act out in behavior patterns associated BPD but only in their relationships These women are not suffering in their everyday life the terrible pain that those who must seek help and diagnosis are experiencing Because their emotional dysregulation only occurs in the context of their romantic relationship they do not qualify for a diagnosis Yet the pain they inflict on their partners is equally destructive as for those women who have the actual disorder Do you know that girls rate confidence as the most attractive trait in a guy? (According many surveys that I am o lazy link here) Luckily confidence is something that can be learned The easiest is start being honest self and everyone else Sp trying hide feelings because subconscious mind thinks you don’t deserve anything nice Face shame and anxiety head on I have some actionable tips on building confidence in my awesome article on getting ex back Start believing in self and start being honest about what you want and what you don’t want Guys who are honest are als perceived as confident as opposed guys who aren’t Another great portray more confidence is by setting life goals about things that you are passionate about and working. Hello Ryan Thank you for response So i’ve decided try and stay friends her and she has now asked meet for dinner but she said she needs run it by her “partner” first because she doesn’t want over step any boundaries A part of me wants meet her but i dont know if its a good idea I feel like she just really sees me as a friend and nothing more Is this a case where im being friend zoned ? Can you please advise me on what i should do. Unfortunately this fast track would probably not work given that no contact was structured at 30-60 day for a reason and this fast track basically defeats that entire purpose So how do you show her things will be different this time? We will get in that as you read the rest of this article For now just remember not make any of these mistakes that will likely push her in the other guys arms and/or drive you crazy Mistake 5: “Is My Ex- in a rebound” Obsession In a lot of cases it will be obvious if she is in a rebound relationship You can read more about the signs of a rebound relationship here But in some cases a lot of guys obsess over her being in a rebound o much They are constantly looking out for signs of a rebound and keeping tabs on her through social media or common friends. These are all very valid reasons not speak you In fact if any of that is true I would not advise ex gf reply you if you contacted her But hopefully we have taken care of this in Stage 1 and Stage 2 of getting her back By now you are a better version of self You are more confident and you are sure that things will be different when you both get back gether In this stage goal is just address the first three assumptions that ex- has You can show her how things will be different later when you are speaking each other regularly It’s very important that you do this correctly If you mess here ex will put her defenses instantly and you will have do no contact again for a month or two before trying again Here’s how. Hi Ryan articles is so helpful Thank you for it I am also in a difficult situation I had a relationship about 2 years I work abroad but i spend enough time at home o We broke 4 months back just before I was leaving home for work She ld me from beginning that if her parents wont accept our relationship i should accept that and move on We indians have o much complication about religion and all Both of us belonged different religion But i was hoping atleast she would have ld her parents about me But she was so afraid do e her parents are very strict I accepted her decision and broke I thought i will get engaged my work and forget her slowly. There was no empathy,no remorse,no emotions displayed when she admitted cheating or when I asked why she posted pics so soon after her admission when clearly she knew I was devestated she just,didn’t care about me Why would she say I was fat at only 5kgs over my ideal weight but it’s ok sleep and enter in relationship an obese man 7years older than me ? Will she insult him as she did me ? Will she cheat on him? I know it’s dumb but I feel it’s my fault she insulted me and cheated cause I wasn’t the man she wanted My ex & I were gether for 11 years Have 3 kids gether Broke 7 months ago but in that 7months we have been gether on & off I keep ruining things by saying things that I see on her phone that I question her about Right now we’ve hit our lowest point because she says that she cares a lot for me but doesn’t love me I think she may have feelings for someone else even though i do everything for her No matter what I try & do she doesn’t want hug me or even let me uch her I don’t know what else I can do turn this one around? I love her all my heart & she knows it but get nothing back in return says that she doesn’t want me back at all I make mistakes like every other human on the planet but she has no forgiveness for my apologies I don’t know what do? I can’t think concentrate on anything knowing that she’s angry at me all. Hi my broke me almost 2 weeks ago and so far I have not had any type of contact her However we go the same school so when I start re-establish contact her in stage 3 should I continue not talk her in school? It seems like she does have feelings for you but harbors negative emotions at the same time My suggestion right now would be perhaps avoid bringing serious pics but work on building a positive bond her through pleasant memories so that she becomes more receptive. Nothing that you have stated seems be related BPD However the condition is complex and it might be get professional advice if you think you might qualify for the diagnosis I’m glad you sought help and are healing from this experience. It may or may not mean anything at this point and you should not overthink things However it does indicate that a certain extent she still cares about what you do and it’s definitely a more positive sign than just not caring. That’s great hear It seems like you’re on the right path the things are headed and you’ll probably just have continue build a level of comfort her so that she aumatically starts open more It might take some time but be patient. My gf broke me about 2 months ago and after that I went through just over a month of no contact However I have found it very difficult reconnect her If I try text her she seems very disinterested and if I try talk her at school she does not want talk me We ended on somewhat good terms and I never annoyed her or asked for her come back But I know that I have become a much better version of myself recently and when she sees that she will want get back gether I feel as though I am making no progress because I have no talk her How do I reconnect her? Thanks looking forward reply. You probably need go in no contact proper and focus on making changes self in a positive manner if you want win her back You could als tell her you need space but I would suggest just go in it unless she contacts. Getting her meet you should be easy if you build a strong connection her over texts and phone calls first In fact if you do it right there’s a good chance she will talk about meeting you (or at least give you a strong hint that she wants meet you) If she doesn’t then you should ask her out Don’t think o much about it Just tell her that you want meet her for a coffee It’s important that you don’t call this a date as it might get her put her defenses A face face meet is ultimate opportunity increase attraction connection and trust her But you should not rush in it You should be speaking her for at least a cole weeks before you ask her out Places ask her. The objectives of this stage are pretty straight forward Get Her speak you again normally Get her smile or laugh at something you said at least once This stage is called the dragon of resistance because there is a big dragon which is guarding her from opening you and giving you a chance rebuild attraction This is no doubt the ughest battle in this mission Most guys end failing at this stage The resistance she has is based on the following assumptions. Nicolamethod@ . It could be that because you gave her all it could have ended being the cause of her feeling overwhelmed especially if she knew that she could not measure what you were providing her There’s also a chance that while she developed feelings for you over the course of time it wasn’t the passionate kind which was why she felt more interested pursue other relationships which had a stronger spark facr for her compared this Ironically as this sounds you shouldn’t make self so emotionally available for her because this puts you at a disadvantage where she has the perhand choose at any point whether she wants you or not and may even end taking you for granted. The psychological damage that women who idealize and then devalue in relationships can inflict on their partners can be very difficult heal from The environment that ex created in relationship probably caused you walk through a psychological minefield on a daily basis Because there are very few resources available for men who have experienced this type of psychological stress many men suffer in silence taking years heal from these emotional battle wounds Hi David not sound negative but if there was no particular reason and she broke things off you all of a sudden out any major incident it could mean that she genuinely lost interest because of the distance or might even have another person in her life Regardless if you still want give it a shot I suggest waiting around 2-3 weeks before contacting her again However if she still does not respond positively or hasn’t unblocked you I strongly recommend you considering the idea of moving on. Yes basically you want come across as someone that’s worth forgiving and starting anew and the go about doing so is actually make those changes and finding the peace in self NC also gives her time process and let go of the negative feelings she has against you at this point If it is going take awhile before you reach that decent emotional state perhaps at least give it a month of NC before you go about and apologize her or send the elephant in the room text in order at least show her that you are sorry for whatever has happened. Awareness level is the most underrated skill Most people don’t spend any time working on it and developing it (video game lingo: spend XP points on it) But it can have a huge effect on happiness confidence well-being and relationships Needless say it helps you become a better version of self and will increase chances of getting ex back Actionable Tips (Important) Meditate for at least 10 minutes for 21 days continuously f) Work on Life Goals or a Passion (optional) Having life goals and a passion is not only attractive girls it’s also a huge confidence booster and therapeutic If you are working on something you care about mind will focus on only that and you will forget about everything else Moreover working on things that you care about will give you something speak ex when you end no contact. Did Ex- Have Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder? Part 1: When Dream Relationship Turns In Worst Nightmare Many men have had the experience of entering what they thought was their dream relationship only find out months down the road that their dream had turned in a nightmare It is terribly painful go through this kind of break and I know it’s very difficult understand why But falling in love is a chemical process It can take a year or even three years wear off These women do allow the men they leave any kind of closure which can also make it very difficult transition out of love When our loved ones die we have cultural traditions that help us let go of a treasured relationship You can refer this article on handling situations where meeting is inevitable Perhaps NC is still a good idea at this point for you regain own emotional composure before trying actively win her. Do try understand that while she still definitely loves you she is also exhausted from being in a relationship you at the same time A relationship should see each other through thick and thin but everyone has different capacities what they can handle If she feels this about the relationship and you genuinely want her back I would suggest giving what she felt about you being self-destructive and dependent emotionally and figure out if its something that you can spend this time working on. Comparing self her new boyfriend is only going make you feel terrible When you compare self him you are going come one of either two conclusions He is better than me “She found someone better than me He has a better job He has a better body He is taller He got a full head of hair He is more handsome than me He is a player and knows how manipulate women He treats her better than I treated her.” In all those serficial terms the other guy might be better than you But in the end her relationship this new guy will depend on the type of connection she develops him If she is mentally and emotionally ready for a new relationship she might develop a strong connection her new boyfriend But in most cases it will be a rebound relationship and it won’t matter how successful and amazing the new. “I can’t live out her I still love her and will als love her I can’t be happy out her Surely this should be a good enough reason for her take me back.” I am not sure if it’s the media the movies or the damn TV shows But guys get the idea that if they can show their ex GF how helpless they are out her she will come back They try beg and plead get her back In some cases guys go extreme lengths show their ex how miserable they are. Then she finally came home one evening complained why wasn’t I breaking her(!) also ld me that I should get an office job help give myself stability(!!) and kicked. She isn’t just set You are broken She even has another boyfriend This is a whole different game Here is why A Telling her how you understand her and how you won’t make the same mistakes again will make it look like you are trying win her back from another guy This will make her put her defenses because she will want stick her decision B Telling her that you will do what she wants (get married spend more time her make her a priority etc.); is not going work now You had chance prove her that you can change She gave on you and broke you C She is no longer trying make you jealous If she is in a new relationship another guy it’s not the same as her flirting some other guy make you jealous It’s because she is trying move on (Note: Just because she is trying doesn’t necessarily mean. Hey my recently broke me after our break and i rarely ever talked her which me seems that was the reason we she ended things She ld me she has started have feelings for another guy and she has been hanging out him more than i have her because i was usually busy i want get her back before it is o late and i lose her forever she just wants be friends but doesn’t feel like she loves me no more but i know there’s a part of her that. Women who act out in their relationships but who do not qualify for the disorder can mimic all of the behavior patterns of a healthy woman for a year or longer allowing any man unknowingly become enmeshed Healthy men are actually at a disadvantage in these relationships as they more often than not have never encountered abuse in their relationships and cannot comprehend the confusing dynamics of a partner who both loves and hates them It is therefore very important that we educate healthy men on the ever-growing prevalence of women whose emotional dysregulation is only triggered after a man falls in love them Until adult women are able receive the kind of remedial skills of emotional regulation necessary overcome this sensitivity all men need be educated take extra caution when entering a relationship a woman no matter how healthy she may appear. Hey ryan So we were speaking everyday consistently then randomly after like 2 weeks of talking everyday she messaged me say texting is okay but she does not want call me anymore because phone calls are o personal That conversation led us talking about getting back gether and it ended off in her saying that she still loves me but she really likes this orher guy and wants pursue something him Also she said she can only be friends me and nothing more I feel lost now and dont know what do it feels like im back at square 1 all over again After that conversation i spped talking her for about a week I still do really want work things out her and be her but do you think i still may have a chance or is it time give this ? Can you please give me some advice ? Now that we have learned what mistakes avoid in this stage it’s time learn what you can do in this stage sp panicking regain composure and sp doing things that push ex further a a) Start No Contact In my experience the easiest avoid making any of the above mistakes and heal from the break is start no contact What is no contact? No contact is a simple rule not contact ex at all for a certain number of days You want remove ex from life and from mind. Contact the Nicola Method I would suggest perhaps trying once build attraction provided she has been receptive wards you so far However if she responds negatively continue NC. Well I don’t think the no contact worked in this one because she said she ran in her ex… But my persistence actually paid off,and showed I did care… Maybe tmi but I think I got her back but not 100%sure yet… But we did just do it 3. During our conversation yesterday I ld her that maybe we both need reset And that I want fight for her I ld her I respected what she wanted but I wanted work wards a future her cus it means everything me And then she said that maybe she wasn’t o sure about what she wanted and that maybe I’m right that she needs reset She said that she isn’t gonna change her mind in the next 6 months And that we are not getting back gether But if I show changes she might consider it after 6 months Having said that,she also mentioned that should anyone come her she wouldn’t say no What do. The irony of this sry of cowardice is that my job is now all about courage in telling people uncomfortable truths I am a nice person so I do it in a nice – humour and kindness But my job is all about pointing the elephant in the room we’re all avoiding bringing taboo subjects no-one wants discuss and being blunt In a strange I faced my fears and turned them in my strengths and I’m proud of myself. Maybe you will find my letter my abusive ex- useful I saw her again after 20 years no contact This is what my heart wants send I will cut some of the more accusary stuff before I do – make it more rational Dear C I write the following no anger and no judgement I have forgiven you I also say this privately – I haven’t ld anyone else I would like you know that I understand what our relationship was really about That I’m not a naive little boy any more and that I’m not the coward. Because if a guy can’t understand her feelings and can’t solve issues in the relationship; she will slowly lose the romantic connection him If you can be empathic; understand her understand her fears her desires her strengths her weaknesses her life goals; you will be irresistible. Of luck Andrew Decem at 1:22 am - Reply Steve are you still. There may have been an eye-opening wake- moment of realizing that you finally had an explanation that made sense out of all of the confusing and painful behavior you experienced from ex The answer was clear that ex must have borderline personality disorder After all her behaviors were being spelled out right in front of you on a borderline personality disorder website And you would have been correct in one aspect Those behaviors that you experienced in relationship are the same behaviors individuals borderline personality disorder engage in when they are in a romantic relationship However it is also very important for you realize that although ex’s behaviors may have matched this description perfectly this fact alone does not mean that she necessarily would qualify for the disorder. I’m not entirely certain on what you’re asking advice for Is intention wards winning her back or that you don’t want anything. Great website The Five Step Plan! Here’s a Follow for everyone (Since no one else does): We carpooled the race (her suggestion) we ran had a blast the after party I went home and did not contact her That night she sent me all the pics and video she ok of us (even though she was at a party when she sent them) The next day she posted them all on her Facebook wall and tagged me I’m lost from here Do I do more NC ( show I’m no longer needy) go slowly increasing text frequency or try get gether in two weeks. Definitely do not show randomly at her place because it could just as easily backfire on you and make you seem like a stalker You shouldn’t continue block number before calling her either because all these methods are simply s ‘trick’ her in talking you again which isn’t something you want be doing I suggest actually going longer no contact this time around since she seems pretty stubborn and continue working on self in the meantime Since she’s still set you it’s better give enough time for her be willing talk you on her own will and not pressured by actions. Start off building the friendship back and trying get close her again before attempting build feelings and attracting her back the you first did when you got gether her. The thing you can do right now is give her space and let her figure out what she wants and even explore her feelings By getting in her you might cause her feel resentful wards you and even be reminded of the bad memories during the relationship It definitely sucks hear this but if you’re unable do so and simply remain friends her for now while you build trust and comfort again her it may be a better idea for self walk a. In most cases if ex didn’t feel attracted you wards the end of relationship it was because you were needy insecure and were not confident If you feel she broke you out of nowhere then there is a good chance it’s because of this reason In fact all the three reasons mentioned above are a direct result of insecurity Showing o Much Affection In most cases when you show o much affection it’s not coming out of the love you have for her It’s coming out of fear of losing her and being alone Don’t get me wrong you should show affection If you love her you should show her For me there is nothing more joyful than making my happy and. Nicolamethod@ . It seems like you’re on the right path and you definitely have a chance as long as you show her the changes that she needs feel happy/secure in the relationship again. Hello everyone in the team I ok suggestion of drafting a letter and want show it someone ensure that I get the possible response from my ex Please could you respond and I shall send it via email? Thanks. If first meeting ends both of you just talking about the break and past relationship it will look like that you are both meeting just get closure Instead you should use this time talk about what has changed in life since the break You should talk about the good times and good memories And you should have a good time gether and create good memories gether But it’s also important that you don’t try avoid something serious that’s on her mind If she wants talk about something that happened during the break or past relationship you should be willing talk about it You should be able resolve the issue swiftly so you can get back having a good. If you are only at the start of no contact period I would suggest you continue on it but if most of it has been cleared then you could continue the conversations see where they lead and if it’s possible build a level of comfort and friendship her again However if she starts reply negatively or coldly wards you go back NC again and don’t get emotional or overthink the situation. People will say whatever it takes successfully end the relationship at times so certain things like ‘wanting focus on herself’ should be taken a pinch of salt since they won’t be able predict the next time they meet someone new You could als find out from her if she’s currently seeing anyone and make decision on the next steps take. Hey Kevin My ex and i were gether for 2 years and we have recently broke we got in a very bad argument because she was trying friendzone me against my will so i spped speaking for at least 2 and half weeks i started miss her so i reached out and she didnt respond i waited about another week and called her and she finally answered she ld me she has someone else her in her life so that caused us get in another argument so far i dipped back in a no contact and i am attempting work on myself. Well most likely she was tipsy or felt a sense of familiarity and became more open expressing it while at the party You could continue contact her since her initial response has not been negative wards you. Oh no I forgot say you that we were gether 2 years Althought most of the time it. A relationship built (in hindsight) very quickly and in her words I was the only man who had ever undersod her and that she loved me before we actually met We decided live gether she had no income or capital so I rented a house after treating her and her children a holiday I later discovered that she had another older child living relatives in another part of the country At first the relationship appeared be going well and sex was regular and we had a good understanding of each other One night after being gether 5 months she asked me marry her publicly on a microphone in a public house I taken aback but agreed After our first year living gether things started go downhill I noticed that despite her getting work she would quickly fall out people and it was als their fault i.e.a security looking her skirt while she was a ladder. It was in 5 days she met this guy at the weekend after? Is that not straight in? And then tell me about it? Seemed off I could be in denial We are on good terms we cleared everything at Christmas Flying out is a gamble I know As for the feelings and her being a bit of a closed book for the first 3 years it was only in Ocber last year she ld me she loved me for the first time I ok it for granted. Sam no matter how many times I hear sries like s I can’t help but be shocked Yes you are the archetypical nice guy who got enmeshed in a relationship a woman traits of BPD I’m glad hear you didn’t marry her and that she didn’t have a pregnancy as some men are not so lucky be able just walk a from this situation But the pain you are feeling is echoed by many many men Although part of it can be attributed the fact that you were in love her and made very real plans be her for the rest of life there is another component this type of recovery which seems be more similar the death of a fiancée than. Start therapy this week I need relearn what is normal behaviour in relationships and find my weakness so I don’t get abused or. The next time you reach out her perhaps go on a lighter note and avoid the pic of the relationship failing at the start because you want avoid having her jump the conclusion again so soon before anything is built and she becomes guarded You could continue NC for perhaps around a month this time around regard starving out the good feelings as long as when you contact her again you bring that side of the picture it should. Thanks Diego for this very clear example of an individual traits of BPD of luck in healing process. Entitlement is one of the behaviors that many women traits of BPD engage in These behaviors can be somewhat difficult understand Sometimes it is caused by their constant feeling that you are going take advantage of them Instead of recognizing this is their insecurity they instead believe in order not get taken advantage of they must take advantage of you first Some women because they are insecure will try test love by the kinds of actions you describe Some women when they feel unworthy will try make you feel unworthy of them so they can’t be hurt Nice-guy types become very confused at this behavior They over-trust and it’s very hard for them accept that this woman who looked so perfect in the beginning is not capable of sustaining a long-term relationship People who have less trust can more easily understand that this woman sadly is not the person she initially made herself. If ex is dating someone else after the break she is not doing this get you fight for her She is probably doing it because she wants move on give you an idea on what’s going on in her head Here’s what the ex of one of my client said him about her new boyfriend My client was able get her be honest and open about how she felt She also went on tell me that her dating this guy is a new thing and that it wasn’t what she thought it would be and it’s unfulfilling; however she needs move on In my experience most girls who go in a relationship o fast after a break do so because they want move on They do it because they hope being someone else will help them forget the break pain and fill the hole in their life that you left As you can see in my client’s case this does not go the they hope. Whether it happened slowly or it was an overnight transformation you probably eventually realized that the woman who was once in love you had turned against you and unless you fixed the problem you were going lose what you may have felt was the most important relationship of life You may at first have tried ask her about her personality change only hear from her that it was you who she thought had changed overnight In fact you may have found that the more you talked about her new negative behaviors the more she turned around and accused you of the very same behaviors If you are like most men you probably felt completely helpless reestablish any kind of communication that could allow you back in her good graces Also I have booked flights Poland for the end of Feb after a business trip Romania as a surprise in wanting her see me in the flesh and talk about it Am I mad do this? Or the perfect romantic reaction? Thank you so much in advance Elliott Hi Kevin My ex broke me and moved out while I was a at a conference We had a been gether 2 and half years combined long distance then She moved me and we lived gether for 1 and half years She sent an email ending do not contact also saying why she was leaving (I had been critical and controlling) Through simple luck I spoke her for 2 hours on phone before she left we discussed the huge work stress I had been under and that we both loved each other but she needed space and had moved a again I ld her I undersod – we didn’t argue So I applied the NC on my ex and day I sent her a message I don’t know like something ld me do so! And she replied I even asked her wyd and she said I’m going the hospital and then eat my cousin days before she will so “nothing” and then was time I have nothing else say and she keep replying!! Then I ld her I’m going the gym and she said okay Like I said other days she will just read it and not text back And then she went off for 3 hours then reply me saying “sorry I was at the movies” she’s apologized for not texting me for 3 hours… and make her laugh and now I just said bye her I’m going sleep and she reply ! What does this mean ? Should I keep texting like nothing happened? Or should. He and his new gf has been dating for about 7 mnths Is there a chance I can get back him as they travelled a lot and they stick gether like inseparables… is that called rebound anymore coz it has been 7 mnths they have been dating and that we broke for. B You can get angry call her a bunch of degrading names and give her an ultimatum This will definitely push her wards the other guy C You can be calm about it Tell her that if she does choose sleep someone else; it will hurt you terribly Tell her that you have chosen not have sex someone else until she is in life in any capacity And tell her that you understand if that’s what she chooses do and you will still respect her Being honest in this will make her want not lose you and will probably make her stay loyal you despite the break Mistake 4: Treating her like she is still A lot of guys treat their break like it’s just a fight That if you just somehow convince her that you understand mistakes and you have changed; she will forgive you come back and you will live happily. Once you feel you have the right mindset you have built enough confidence in self and you have acquired the right ols and skills; you should contact her (I talk about mindset skills and ols in this article on what do after no contact) There is no point in waiting for something happen that may never happen If you are confident that you are ready you should take the plunge and contact her Just the right text or email from you might just be the straw that will break the rebound camel’s back. After 2 years the ex started falling out again people in work she seemed depressed and introverted She was back hiding her phone and spending a lot of time online (this appeared follow the death of her abusive acoholic ex husband) Her daughter came back live us following her degree and again I was excluded from most social activities “me and daughter are going cinema you watch this film you want come or me and daughter are going a pub etc,” I just worked and paid all the bills while she blew her money (apparently “I was controlling her financially” I pennyless and paid all the bills because I didn’t want her have the worry of bills as she would usually just blow her money on gambling and I als ending subbing. Perhaps give her time reconsider and think things through For the time being you can increase chances by being positive and giving her a good reason want you back Avoid being pushy or getting desperate as it would only push. On the night of April 1st my of 2 months ld me that her interest level in me has been going back and forth so she wanted break This girl is beyond everything I wanted in a relationship; she is somebody I think is o good be true I did everything I could get her attention since May 2017 and we finally started dating in Jan I am not about give on us That night I ld her how much I valued her and she decided that we should take a break and she will contact me when she has made her decision I have been improving myself since then I’ve lost a few pounds and I changed my hair style Any other advice? Actionable Objectives aim for (Important) Speak her on text messages or on a phone call for half an hour Get her laugh out loud Get her initiate contact you at least three times Understand Ex on a Deeper Level If you want an absolutely amazing relationship her you must first make an effort understand ex better than anyone else Better yet you need understand her better than she understands herself If you can achieve that level you can rest assured that ex will want stay you forever Here are a few pics that you should speak about make her feel undersod and connected you. My ex ld me that I mean a lot her and that she cares so much for me and that she is so happy that we can still be friends after the break Obviously I don’t wanna be just friends as I am talking her regularly and trying build connection between us From here I just plan on flirting her and building attraction Any advice? //in December 2016 she outpoured her feelings of love in the most intense after having been endlessly abusive for months She could feel me slipping a and becoming independently happy I felt like it was incredibly xic but somehow she partially won me back I ld her I’d commit again but that we had meet in person and overcome all of the xicity before acting so loved as it wasn’t healthy At this time she also ld me about the made rape sry in Thailand 4 years previously in a very apologetic manner. Wait for another week or so before trying reach out her again Start off on a completely separate pic from the last time or perhaps even discuss something that you may have needed her advice on avoid looking desperate. Keep in mind that just because she is true love does not mean that you are hers especially if she could break you over financial reasons Perhaps think this through on whether you really want win her back or not and if you do keep in mind that you’re probably going have be financially stable. For starters in the time you’ve been broken until the next point of contact focus on making those positive changes first in life You can als get back in contact after the break by dropping her a text or a letter and you can use this article for more guidelines. In Part 2 of this blog series Women Traits of BPD-Why Men Stay we will be looking at why men who give can often get taken advantage of by women traits of borderline personality disorder Related Posts: Breaks Women Traits of BPD – Five Misconceptions That Keep Men From Letting Go and Moving On Women Traits of BPD – Why Did. Abby – response is so compassionate and shows self-awareness I applaud you I was in a 6 year relationship “the love of my life” – who happens experience BPD Sadly she reflects that profile that we so often see (no self-awareness deceit infidelity blame narcissism etc.) I am still healing after nearly a year after we broke (she was in the bed of a former friend whom she’d been cheating – but denying – that night of the break) kind word Charles give me hope. We have been gether for 5 years Our relationship has ended over money when the financial situation of both got worse She ld me that she no longer loved me like these old days I tried convince her that this was a bad time because of financial problems but it was not Now she is dating someone else she ld me she wants move on a new relationship get less stressful We have not contacted for weeks I believe she is my true love What should I do get. If she does not feel a connection you she will leave you because she does not see a future you She might still be attracted you She might still feel that you are a confident attractive guy But she does NOT SEE HERSELF BEING YOU IN THE LONG TERM She just thinks that you are both not compatible An emotional connection can be lost for the following reasons You and ex- lost the spark You neglected her for o long and ok her for granted You had o much fights and disagreements You didn’t know how communicate effectively and understand each other life goals do not align each other All the above reasons are self-explanary so I am not going go in detail. It depends on current level of relationship her and comfort levels If you’re on talking and friendly terms still then that would be possible but if the break had ended badly or there IS a need build trust first before asking her out I suggest not jumping the gun on the texting process. Asking her partner regarding meeting you is more out of respect for him rather than being friend zoned and it’s entirely you if you wish let go or hold on It’s really dependent on how much you want the relationship and the extent you’re willing go through in the meantime If you decide let go the alternative would be apply no contact again and focus on recovery. You might want consider the job opportunity if it’s good for you and that you shouldn’t try force things happen like make her meet you at that time for drinks since she’s technically dating someone else. Hey T If the situation is o confusing for you and it’s taking a ll on emotional health DO NO CONTACT You cannot win her back if you are not strong mentally and emotionally So if she contacts you tell her that the break and everything else that has happened is o much for you handle and that you need space Do no contact There’s a good chance she will try do things get attention when you start no contact If so ignore her. The hardest thing is despite the lies the infidelity the emotional abuse the alcoholism 2 years on i still love the woman i thought she was had i known of bpd and narcissism perhaps i couldve tried harder make. These don’t seem be the typical signs of a woman traits of BPD although there are some similarities We will probably never know what happened ex that caused such a change in her personality Unfortunately you are in the same kind of situation as a man who has had a BPD break in that you did nothing cause a person you love abrtly sp loving you Men whose partners had traits of BPD can at least learn why their ex behaved the they did by reading about the condition They can answer their own questions and find some kind of peace The important thing remember is that this transition was not fault and sadly there was nothing you could have done keep it from happening It’s also important realize that although most people can fall in love and sustain a meaningful relationship as long as it’s fueled by that initial ehoria not everyone possesses the level of maturity and commitment necessary sustain it. She acknowledged she started have her guard since the second date since she saw I still had strong feelings for her She maintains that regardless of having feelings for me she doesn’t want get back gether Should I continue the NC or just. Angelo that is a harrowing sry I am so glad you made it out in one piece and that you are seeing more clearly now I’m also glad hear that my website has been useful for you The writing I do about BPD breaks is meant provide a sense of closure for those still struggling and feedback is very helpful me as well as those who have been through a similar experience. Yep she has moved in my house because she got evicted from her home Im talking about my ex-wife We were married for 10 years We have 2 little boys gether She left me 1 year ago and she wanted the divorce I do want her back I love her and she knows it Her and our boys have been living me for since 3/12/2018 This is now OUR home We have made love a few times But it is so hard talk her she is still angry She ld me she would never live me again but here she is What does this all mean? What can i do keep her and win her heart back? Please help. Awesome thank you for the insight As for contacting later on should I use the elephant in the room text or not? Cause although she does seem be in a rebound and I made the usual mistakes of asking for another chance we didn’t have a big fight in the end I just ld her I wanted space for myself and she was. Email address will not be published Required fields are marked *Message Name * E-mail address * Website This article is a splement this guide 5 stages win ex back for specific situation So click on the link above and read it Once you have read it come back here find out how get ex back when she is dating another guy What we will cover in this article In this article we are going cover each stage of getting ex back from perspective. You could go party if you feel emotionally stable enough do so but avoid contact her when there and at the same time try not act o unusual meaning just be self but avoid small talk her answer first question NC has a timeline that differs for everyone depending on the relationship Contact o soon and ex is still feeling negative wards you but wait o long and she may very well move on I cannot answer for certain what that timeline is because it really depends on relationship her as well as the type of person she is Generally a good time frame is 30 days for civil breaks but longer if the break ok an ugly turn or you’re. In that case I suggest keeping things casual for now and slowly working back her She might not be ready face her emotions or that she’s set which resulted in her not caring whether you both love each other or not If you can’t find a be completely casual and not pressure her get back gether right now then you should continue NC further. Hi Ryan thanks for the article really puts things in perspective For my case we broke 2 months ago and after I went through the needy/desperate phase i started NC for 2 weeks until I ran in my ex gf We ended going for coffee and talked about what went wrong in the relationship and I made it clear I undersod what needed be changed We also talked a little about our dating life since then and she said she is not interested in finding someone She said she still has lingering feelings but does not want depend on someone for happiness and she seems set on moving on i wished her well should i resume NC or try build attraction? Cassie only a professional can tell you if you have BPD but whether you have it or not there is now a form of therapy that gives people these types of tendencies skills overcome all of the difficulties you describe The treatment is called DBT or dialectical behavioral therapy and if you can’t find a therapist who teaches it or a DBT gro join you can order a self-help workbook for DBT that is available. There can be two scenarios in this case Either you and ex left on good terms Or you acted in a that left a sour taste in her mouth about you In either case it’s definitely a good idea wipe the slate clean so you can make her feel comfortable speaking you again I speak about this in my article on texting ex- again here I call this the elephant in the room approach You acknowledge the elephant in the room by stating everything that happened and apologize for it Basically you address four main points when you contact. Ended things after 16 months because she needed space and felt suffocated and said that feelings from before were no longer there We have been living 60miles apart whilst in my final year of university for the last 8 months texting regularly and visits every other week She said she felt more like friends and that i was o needy and insecure Currently in first week of NC I’m finishing university in just 3 weeks and starting a new job back home She still cares very much about me but just says the feelings aren’t the same as before christmas time… which coincides when my work has been getting ser busy at university and visits have been less frequent What shall i do try and re-spark things when I get. It would be important for you learn how control anger and perhaps let go of emotions in other s Otherwise even if you do succeed at winning her back the same cycle may repeat itself whenever you get set Currently it would be work on self in this aspect as well as other positive changes you can make and give her some space get over all the negative emotions she may feel wards you that has been pent throughout the relationship. I have been helping people breaks and getting their ex back for the past five years And I can tell you almost certainty that there is still hope provided the following conditions are met You and ex were gether for a reasonable amount of time (at least more than 3 months) You and ex shared a meaningful connection and had a good relationship at one point of time Now if the above conditions are not met you may still have a chance You can still try doing what this article suggests but you should also prepare move on because chances are probably very slim In this article I will help you formulate a step by step plan help you get ex back when she has another boyfriend I will also help you prepare for all the challenges you will likely face as you are trying get. I’m a little unfamiliar the caste system and how strongly people adhere it but if its something that won’t change and she is someone who believes or has strong respect for it then you might want consider moving on. It probably is a good thing but you’ll have be patient about it especially if she’s still gether the other person right now Spend this time working on improving self since in her opinion even though she loves you the other guy does the relationship ‘better’ You’ll have prove her that you can better that if you want win. You should not rush it in hopes that you can sp her from starting a relationship another man Think of it in terms of chances of winning her back chances of winning her back when you are needy insecure and unattractive are very less compared chances of winning her back from a rebound if you are confident and a new better version of self If you act needy and desperate at this stage; you will confirm her belief that breaking was the right decision and it will get even harder for you get her back in the future You should choose lose this battle if it means winning the war How Get Her Back If She Is In a Rebound Relationship? Her new relationship might be a rebound; but you must still respect it You must set boundaries in the you flirt her You don’t want her cheating on her new boyfriend be you This is a bad start a new relationship a person. Hi gear article thanks for posting Me and my broke on Saturday we ended peacefully after doing some needy things I regret however she has messaged me asking how I am day which is the following Wednesday I have started No Contact however I don’t want her think I’m being an ass by not replying so do I reply or just keep no contact going? Any help is great thanks You need get rid of this addiction before you can approach her and get her back As long as you are addicted her you will be needy and desperate And if you are needy or desperate you will never be able approach her from a position of strength Even if you try fake it she will smell neediness from a mile a She was close you and she knows a lot about you You won’t be able fake it for long How No Contact Affects Ex ? If you’ve made any of the mistakes that push her a then no contact is the perfect reset everything before you start rebuilding attraction her Even if you have not made any of the mistakes above no contact is still very important because you want give ex some time process the break and miss you When you sp contacting ex you will instantly become less needy and desperate in. This guide is designed take the confusion out of the equation Think of it as a manual a walkthrough a game plan or a strategy guide for the current mission in this game called. The first thing I will ask you do is read Stage 2 of this guide If you are confident and secure in self she will probably not think of you as friendzone material in the first place But if you still feel like she is using you just dump all her emotional baggage out giving you anything in return do the following 1 Have an equal relationship: If she uses you for emotional sport use her as emotional sport If she talks about her feelings you should also spend enough time talking about feelings If she asks you pick her from the airport ask her do. Reddit Tumblr Tumblr It’s been almost three weeks of NC my ex But my ex has never liked texting so I’m a bit skeptical of that phase of the plan I don’t think I can make her fall again through text if she absolutely hates texting everyone Would it be a mistake call her and. Bpd and the Nice Guy Personality Type Identifying Traits of BPD In Women Before Relationship Commitment Romantic Idealization And Devaluation In Women Traits of BPD Did Ex- Have Traits of BPD: How Let Go of the Good Times Women Traits of BPD – Why. Yes it definitely sounds like after actions of being needy and this final meeting keeping the door open would be a good idea but only after both of you have taken some time off from each other using NC as you’ve said Spend this time focusing on self and improving so that at least she feels that you’re someone worth considering get back gether instead of wallowing in self-pity and sadness that many others. Weeks later I saw her at a mutual friends birthday party and we didn’t talk much But later when she had left I messaged her saying I was happy see her and that she looked pretty which she replied “Thanks :)” I realised I wasn’t ready emotionally talk her confidence so I went back in no contact It’s almost been a month since I feel much better but I still have no clue if she is still dating him My question is Is it time break no contact and start rebuilding attraction wether shes still dating or not? And how goos do you think my are odds are? Thanks for the advice Ryan You should not be trying come across as ‘sad’ because this adds the look of desperation in her view but yes arranging meet her in a month’s time would be a good idea In the meantime focus on improving self and giving her a greater reason feel something when she sees. The truth is everyone can and should strive improve themselves and become a better version. Then she started show inconsistent behaviour: >Sudden tears or crying either saying she didn’t know why or telling me why only months later >Increasingly complaining about things I had no choice over (that I was working or studying o much) >Saying she loved me although she hardly. The same goes for when you tell her you will do anything get her back More commonly known as becoming a doormat You can’t just let her walk all over you just because you want her back Even if you manage convince her come back this she will leave again soon because she will not have any respect for you The reason this doesn’t work is because you are doing all these things out of desperation get her back Not because you love her but because you are afraid lose her some other guy Because you are afraid be alone She doesn’t want you do things for her out of fear Not unless she is extremely manipulative In which case you should still not do it because you will be even more miserable when you are back gether Mistake 4: Freaking Out About Her Rebound Grief Stage: Anger Denial Bargaining Example: So she ld me it’s just a friend from junior high and she’s not seeing anyone However she explained me why she broke me stating lack of spontaneity and not making the effort of getting know her friends when I met them (mind you every time I saw them it was at a club where it’s impossible get know someone let alone a gro of people) She stated she still has feelings for me but doesn’t share the same feelings of getting back gether I’m going start NC but I’m also thinking if I should even bother? Do you feel there’s a chance of getting. But in almost all the cases her new relationship will be a rebound And it will end That’s what happens majority of rebound relationships Read more about the nature of rebound relationships here and how get her back when she has a boyfriend here Mistake 5: Degrading Her and Calling Ex- Names Grief Stage: Anger Example: “I can’t believe you did this me I should have known you were a gold digger.” Or “How can you do this me after all I’ve done for you Man you really don’t deserve me I hope you spend the rest of life being as miserable as I know you are inside.” Well if you have completed NC already and have already initiated contact her there’s nothing wrong letting her know that you’ll be in wn and if she is keen. You want her realize that you are a high-quality guy and the next girl you are going be is going be very lucky And you want her wish that she is that girl Advanced Tactics We have covered a lot of ground in this article If you are still interested in more from me I highly recommend you take this quiz and subscribe the EBP Basics E-course I share a lot of insights my subscribers that are not posted on my website In my email series I share many more tactics which you can use get ex- leave her new boyfriend and get back gether you Recap Here’s how get ex back if she has a new boyfriend. I ld her never contact me again although I had blocked her in every I forgot about my email which is how she sneaked back in my life I should have been stronger and not replied Forgot say she even faked a cancer scare I am now even considering moving house or living abroad free myself Like self Charles I am so angry and I have never in my life. Girls (and humans in general) will als try prove that they know themselves better than anyone else That they can take care of themselves and that they know what’s for them If you try tell her that she is wrong about her decisions she will go the extra mile prove you wrong You must avoid this at all cost Don’t try convince her leave her new boyfriend Leaving her new boyfriend has be HER DECISION Not s Instead just build attraction and connection her the point she decides leave the other guy for you Mistake 3: Freaking out about ex sleeping the other guy Unfortunately there is no you can sp her from sleeping someone else I know for some guys the thought of ex in bed someone else is sickening.
I knew after we broke and the drama that followed that I had lost my understanding of who I was I had lost my self confidence and I didn’t like myself It seemed bizarre me was that very attractive girls wanted be me immediately after we I felt disgusting dirty I am glad that despite being scared and confused I had enough sense know that I needed be alone I needed build myself and that I would become lost in a relationship I stayed alone for around a year enjoyed time friends parties clubs music It was a great time but I missed my soulmate. So work on understanding self and learn trust self Getting therapy or joining a sport gro (sex addicts alcohol anonymous anger management etc.) is a great do that This will show her you are serious about change and it will give her a ray of hope that things may be different in the future (Read: Get ex back after you cheated.) Long Distance Relationship Long distance relationships are a ugh one If you and ex broke because of long distance then you are in for an hill battle Long Distance often causes a cole lose attraction lose connection or betray of trust If you and ex broke due long distance it’s probably because one of the above reasons happened If that’s the case you will have apply the tactics mentioned above for. Hi Thank you so much for this article I had one question: What if in stage 3 she does not reply the text message after at least five days? Do we message her again then or how should we proceed? The person reading this article Okay that wasn’t my joke But I am sure you can do something better than that More importantly you probably know what tickles her funny bone So think of a joke that you think she will find funny and send it her It’s important that you do this after she has replied you at. She still has things around the house Paintings we use paint gether ys for the dog that she didn’t take clothes Her dad is the owner of the building the small business is in and we use live gether in an apartment overp of the business Her dad still sps by once a week check on the building Do you think it’s wise box these things and send them back her her dad? She also got a new phone a new number I don’t have access and I’m blocked on facebook from messaging but not viewing her profile I was thinking the thing for me do is box her belongings a picture of us she framed and the paintings we use do gether and including the elephant note in. Hopefully she will talk about doing it again herself If she does set a date and time immediately If she doesn’t wait a cole days and ask her out again Actionable Objectives (Important) Take her second venue on the same date Hold her hand for more than 10 seconds in a romantic 2 Get Her Agree Give You Another Shot If you have done everything right till now it should be easy get her give you another shot This is like the final boss fight in a very long video game Just like you would sck on potions and ammo before a final boss fight you should sck on attraction connection and trust before asking her. Hi I was in a relationship my ex for 4 years and completed 2 months of no contact (ending a month ago) The relationship ended on fairly good terms A month ago I recently initiated contact my ex The content of the messages have not been about anything serious or the past relationship and she has been responding them fairly well However the frustrating thing is that she is taking at least a week reply my messages (Note that I have not been replying instantly her messages giving a few days before responding) I am not panicking and I understand as everyone is extremely busy university exams/work at the moment but still a week between messages is extremely frustrating It is making me think that we are somehow no longer on good terms but perhaps I am being irrational – my birthday recently passed and I did not receive a message from her I understand she is very busy but I am just wondering how I should approach things now Thanks! And don’t forget join the EBP Basics E-course I share a lot of information over emails my subscribers You will not regret it Take this quiz subscribe. I’ve been my ex for 5 years when she broke me i am currently working aboard and she dumped me when i got home from work for 7 months i was devastated that time because i was so excited see her after 7 months before i got home we had a fight i was insecure jealous and ser needy that time i tried beg her come back me but nothing happend…i was married before and i have not yet filed for annulment and she said she got tired of waiting for me it’s been almost 3 months since we broke and im back here in the middle east again and now im trying hard do the NC do i still have a chance get my ex back? now im trying hard focus on myself and improve myself while in far from home so that when i come home again i become a better version of myself its just hard be alone and far from home and out someone talk The realisation also brought me pain I felt so ashamed of not walking out I was ashamed of my naivety and cowardice in the face of the truth I beat myself for a while and I hated you for doing that me I felt dirty My skin crawled and I felt physically sick – I now undersod that the exact same “intimate” lines you used on me you used on all the others Word for word That is so sick I wasn’t special the relationship I had cared deeply about was tally fake and my soulmate who I looked and set apart was just a figment of my imagination It was a bereavement My friend in the world was gone and could never return because she never existed She would never have done what you did cheated demeaned our relationship deliberately hurt me I wondered what I had done deserve be treated such cruelty I couldn’t sleep If my soulmate could prove be imaginary what about my friends? What about my mum dad and brothers? If you fall in this category there’s a good chance first instinct will be tell her that you will do things differently this time For example If you neglected her you will want tell her that you will spend more time her if she gives you another chance If you and her both wanted different things in life you will want tell her that you will compromise and give her whatever she wanted (marriage kids etc.) However telling her that things will change WILL NOT WORK The fact is ex does not feel a connection you anymore And if she does not feel a connection you then it will not matter her what you are willing do for her Before you can show her how things have changed you first need rebuild attraction and connection her We will get in that in stage 4 of this article. You can’t just undo all that in a day And if you fake it ex will eventually see through it and start thinking of you as manipulative Thankfully you have enough time work on confidence during the no contact period Soon I’ll release a course on rebuilding confidence get ex back So check back on this space later figure out how rebuild confidence during no contact b) Learn Relationship Skills and ols Maintain a Healthy Relationship This is very important if ex- broke you due loss of connection Or if you both argued constantly and could never come a reasonable conclusion One of the most important relationship skills you can learn is proper communication If you can be a pro at handling conflict each fight you have will bring you closer gether. But if you think she is worth it; then you owe it self give it a try Although I highly recommend that you try only once; and if she does not respond positively; you leave her alone and move on You are better off spending time and energy focusing on self moving on and attracting new girls It’s better than waiting for her when she is committed someone else You both might still get back gether in the far future; but there is no point in keeping hope if it’s spping you from moving on Create a rift by being the bigger guy If you do things that make it ser obvious you want her break her new boyfriend; it will make ex- put her defenses and cut. My and I (both 27 years old) have been gether for just under 4 years We had a pretty solid relationship until 1 year ago We had been living gether for 1 year at that point I started playing video games A LOT and ok her for granted but we als respected each other This last year was pretty bumpy in our relationship she got pretty set and didn’t think I was going get my shit gether She ended breaking me about 2 months ago At first I was really confused and wanted more in depth explanation from her side (she had a hard time communicating her for feelings) but after 2 weeks I started no contact During no contact I found out she had been dating a friends brother But I kept my cool and didnt say anything her. Guys who are insecure controlling and secretly manipulative are als trying control the situation by giving their something and hoping get something in return This creates an unhealthy pattern in the relationship and their s end losing attraction for them Insecurity Jealousy Control and Manipulation Like I said in the above two scenarios Insecurity jealousy control and manipulation are present in almost every unhealthy relationship If ex didn’t feel attracted you by the end of relationship there’s a good chance you exhibited these traits in the relationship As you are going through this stage I want you think back and figure out when you did something for ex that had an ulterior motive behind it. If she is going through mental health issues perhaps that would be the cause of her sudden change and breaking you I would actually suggest opening the messages and figuring out if she needs sport or space and deciding. Hey George You should back off for a while and give self some space and time Do no contact and only speak her about child Don’t sleep her anymore and focus on self She wants keep you as a back while she explores her option Backing off and doing no contact will make her realize that you can not be manipulated There’s a chance she will start a rebound the other guy but it will hopefully end soon Even if it doesn’t you can win her back if you follow the steps mentioned in the article. – And we both had a common problem while discussing we both hold our guns and don’t accept each other’s points – I never accepted my mistakes and neither did she But on a deeper thought Those arguments were als because of me Will this fast track plan work ? I have actually undersod my mistakes I cant disappear o long from her life as there are friends of hers who will persuade her meet other guys as soon as possible as she has get married soon. Perhaps start a text or two first before proceeding calling her You don’t want suddenly call and she is taken aback. Continue the positive changes you’ve been making I would suggest sp relationship of intimacy and closeness her for now because she’s currently o comfortable having the of both worlds She is able spend time you but doesn’t have call you her boyfriend because ‘officially’ she’s someone else It may a difficult decision make but you have show her that this isn’t right and it’s not something that can go on for long out someone eventually getting really hurt in the process. Stewart so many people in situation become very confused at their loss of self esteem over a partner traits of BPD People of all types have reported experiencing what you have gone through after a break a BPD ex It is a very strange phenomenon where people who would never ordinarily allow themselves be abused in this find themselves unable leave these relationships and when they do leave they often spend a year or more feeling completely decimated. You could try continue be there for her as a friend first but showing care and concern wards her It might help her redevelop feelings for you that was once lost months back. When we left Oxford I started a PhD in another city I loved reading the papers cover cover in the only a student has the time do I can still remember being in the college cafe and which table I was sitting at when I read a G2 article about domestic abuse It was about men abusing women listing the typical abusive behaviours The similarities between the cycle of our relationship and abusive ones was shocking I don’t have the article now – these are descriptions of abusive behaviour from other sources – but they’re close what that article contained: It depends on whether the hangout is a mutually agreed on one and whether she’s comfortable it Otherwise it would be advisable go in NC as per our guidelines recommend. Rebound Camel – If it becomes a thing remember you heard about it at Ex Back Permanently first Use Text Messages Contact Her When She Is Dating Someone Else Text messages have a unique advantage when ex is dating someone else She can look at text messages at her own time and reply them if she feels like speaking you Moreover if her new boyfriend finds out that she is texting you there’s a good chance he will get jealous and it will lead a fight And he will look insecure if he is snooping in her text messages find out what you texted What say when you Contact her? It really depends on the things ended between you two Read my article on texting ex figure out the contact her. Go in no contact for now and follow the guidelines found in our articles on everything you should do (and not do) win. No you don’t have restart NC all over again We all face setbacks every now and then the key thing is that you made a conscious effort be aware. She has been in this new relationship a cole of months and she says she’s the type of person that when she makes her mind she doesn’t change it But there are things in her life that suggest otherwise Need some help here on what do. I have never read so many words and been left absolutely no clue what the fuck you were trying say Part 1 of BPD explication is vague and in my opinion completely worthless at I was divorced three years ago I quickly met a woman we dated for a month and she moved in me We were gether three years My divorce screwed my head family court burned my money child cusdy fights put me in a bad mood then I found out I had a heart condition It was a crappy three years but the new put all of it until she didn’t any longer Two months ago she broke me and quickly found a new boyfriend He lives out of wn but has a othbrush at her house I don’t think he’ll move here and I don’t think she wants leave this wn I’m hoping her new relationship will be. Where you need however intervene on own behalf is when these breaks begin effect life in a destructive These extraordinary levels of grief and pain can lead alcohol or chemical abuse and it can take you in depressions that can become debilitating and in some cases life-threatening These are very serious signs that you need seek help in the form of therapy or counseling An experienced counselor should be able help you move out of this very dark place and give you the guidance you need rebuild life. Back in the feeling like it was all a crazy dream or like the woman I invested so much in died I’m sure I’ll get better eventually but be forewarned grieving is not a linear process. I was a little slow initiating no contact – 12 days before Christmas She created a gro for a Christmas message and included me I sent her a friendly e-card for Christmas and we chatted back and forth until just before new year where she went distant again The big question I have is that I will be in her area in 15 days time do I try and contact her or do I fully restart no contact? I was thinking of delivering the hand written apology letter and leaving it there or should I let her know I am in area? Apologies my age is 41 she is 36 And by LDR I mean different countries very distant apart Relationship had been amazing but significant increase in workload and conflict of interest had put me under intense pressure last year Am getting counselling for Type A and stress management etc and following all. You lost someone special you Don’t expect feel great all of a sudden You are going feel like shit And that’s okay In fact if you didn’t feel like shit occasionally; I will think there is something very wrong you So cut self some slack and when you feel like shit just let self feel. This would be entirely dependent on you and whether you want or not However do consider the relationship she has her family (whether it’s good or not) prior meeting you and if she would be able sacrifice that and leave her family behind for you since that may be what it takes have a lasting relationship especially if her family is entirely against you/the idea of a same sex relationship. So if you ever have the urge say anything mean ex do self a favor and SP What if I have already made these mistakes? These mistakes are very common As I mentioned earlier these mistakes are a direct result of you going through grief and acting on instincts So if you’ve made them don’t beat self over it This only means you are human And since these mistakes are only human it’s pretty easy get ex forgive you for them as described in Stage 3 of this article. When they enter therapy which is als a good idea for those who have had a difficult bringing where they were placed in a position of parenting their parents they do not have the usual trust issues the therapist The tendency over-trust that got you in trouble ex can allow you move very quickly during therapy wards healing and resolving childhood issues that may threaten get in the of future relationships Being able talk at length about what happened is also very helpful And you will find there are a number of forums where you will hear sries so similar s you might think you were both the same partner Many of these people stick around after they heal help those still struggling Staying busy and focused can also help as can creating new friendships and in time romantic relationships But it’s a very painful slow process. I am no relationship expert but I would say that it’s not a rebound anymore unfortunately I would suggest trying move on as it will only cause you pain hope and wait for a miracle happen If for some reason they break in the future and the stars align maybe you can try give it a shot again but for now you should not even think about that and move on new and better things. I miss her my kids miss her kids it’s a sad situation I have been doing things better myself and have in fact lost 40 lbs in the last two months through working out and eating a lot less and I’m working harder than I have in years She and I were working on a project gether and I had my shirt off just a few days ago and she was pretty impressed that I had lost so much weight Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Hello My ex and i broke about 4 months ago and we were gether for about 3 and a half years We had a very strong connection and have been through hell and back gether but wards the end of the relationship things got really rough and we just started fighting about everything and became very mean wards. Mark A I’m sorry if this is a personal or inappropriate question But ex’s first name didn’t begin F did it sry reminded me of something sorrow and respect M How do I move on from this? I live in a small wn and run in her almost every week She acts as though I was nothing and smiling Will she ever have remorse for what she did The one thing I didn’t add my original sry was the only reason why she was continuing our relationship while sleeping her new boyfriend was so I would pay for her root cannal surgery I caught her the new guy going her preop appointment Did she want me catch her? I feel guilty because this pain Im having over this is worse than when my dad died Why does it hurt. But if she decides have sex someone else; she is not doing anything wrong You both have broken and she is not cheating on you by sleeping the other guy And if you freak out about it and try control her actions; you will only look needy controlling and manipulative And guess what? It will just make her want sleep the new guy even more Can you do something sp her from having sex someone else? In very rare situations you can But you should not try doing this until you are absolutely sure what you are doing Here’s one situation where you can influence her decision If you and ex are speaking regularly; and she is honest you about wanting sleep someone else; you can do one of the following A You can either give her approval sleep the other guy (which we can both agree is out of the question) She will not feel remorse for what she did Women traits of BPD who do not get treatment lack a moral sense when it comes their romantic relationships although treatment they may develop it A woman traits of BPD only feels romantic emotions in the moment even if those moments span years They don’t have the ability stand back and evaluate their emotions and observe the impact they have on others They assume that everyone feels romantic love as they do It is intense but fleeting These women assume no one can be moral in romantic relationships and because of this they believe everyone will betray them Finding self giving large gifts before a lifelong partnership is entered in can be a sign that you are in a rescuing mode which is not healthy for romantic relationships Unfortunately women traits of BPD are highly attracted rescuing males and these relationships usually end in the kind of betrayal you experienced. I’m confused as hell because she said she couldn’t fathom finding happiness elsewhere yet when we broke and the more I look back I wonder if it’s this one guy from her work who had been hovering around her There are really so many people it could be in fact I’m almost certain it’s him which sucks as she said she didn’t have any interest in him I’m a little numb maybe it hasn’t hit me yet or maybe it’s what I needed let go I’m not sure which step take now do I still send the letter? I had planned send it then just continue my life in case it is a rebound in case somewhere along the road she reconsiders I don’t know if it’s a rebound or if it’ll last pretty crap either So what do you think should I still send? Do you think this could be a rebound or that she had him lined before ending things? Thanks Ryan Can you also give me a reply one of my last questions Can I do NC o long? Besides that I started NC 4 days ago The last messageI sent her was about apologizing and saying that we shouldn’t have contact from now on Now what I want ask you theres a bday party from my friend this friday she will be there o I don’t go if I should go there I’m pretty vulnerable at the moment But I’m o concerned what she might think if I’m absent What should I do? Avoid the party because of no contact? And again can you do the NC phase o long? Thanks Instead you need just be the version of self and focus on rebuilding attraction and connection ex As she starts feeling more and more attracted wards you she will start feeling more and more distant from her new boyfriend This will especially be true if ex is in a rebound Part 5: Strategies get her meet you and leave her new boyfriend Getting her meet you Getting her meet you while she is still dating the other guy is going be a big challenge This is especially true if she is committed the new relationship In most cases her new relationship is going be a rebound and she (or her new boyfriend) will eventually end it But in case they don’t you start by making first contact and slowly start rebuilding attraction her. Everyone I have spoken or heard about has reported that therapy is the remedy for a BPD break and that it does help speed the process along So this is my recommendation Other s ease the pain and move the process along is find forums for people in situation process will be similar grieving which means that you will need talk a lot about the details of what happened in the relationship This is often o much do friends but it can be done others who have shared experience You also may want take a look at my latest blog about moving on after a BPD break which will give you a little more insight in exactly what ex did fulfill you and will explain how choose the type of personality traits in a future partner that will allow them give you a similar kind of fulfillment but in a healthy and on a sustained basis. I have received over a years worth of counselling from Relate which has been wonderful (I can’t recommend them enough) – the ex refused attend Every now and again the whys appear though I discovered a few months after he left that he was living someone else The same someone else that he had “confided” in whilst in a relationship me She was married two young children (one only a few months old) This hurt like hell and still does for so many reasons So during my why phases I search for answers Reading the above comments makes me wonder whether I had BPD The ex once ld me I was bipolar and had go counselling… Even if she dates someone else during no contact it will probably be a rebound and you can still win her back (Read about rebounds and winning her back from a rebound.) How Long Should You Do No Contact For? Ideally you should do no contact until you have finished stage 1 and stage 2 of this mission get ex back permanently That means you should do no contact at least until you have spped panicking regained composure and figured out how defeat the little devils (Stage 2) It can take from two weeks three months Read this article on no contact rule figure out how much no contact is ideal for you If you are confused I recommend you set a time limit of at least. Her cell ph acct came my email address it how I caught her out and in the 4 weeks after our break she was in contact 4 different men incl the cheater when the affair ended during those 4 Weeks she tried 2 others dialing 2 numbers every 5min for 6 hours straight no answer then finally ok the offer of an aquaintance of ours one who had been on her social media list our whole relationship he is 57yr old,wealthy,drinks,parties and is obese she denied having cheated him but they were intimate and living gether imeadiately and she and he posted public pics on social media the week she had admitted cheating Gaslighting became the norm whenever I questioned her behaviour insisting she could not remember doing or saying terrible things. My ex of a little over one year broke because of my jealousy i tried win her back for like 3 weeks but of course it didnt work she says she really needs be alone for a while and wants work on her self during the time i was trying get her back she would answer all my texts and let me go see her at her house and would tell me everything she’s been when i call her out me really asking i would als get the feeling that she likes talking me still but doesnt want get back gether ive been in NC for 18 days i been hitting the gym working alot and feeling great and i honestly feel like i can be out her no problem but i really do love her and realize where i went wrong i honeslty dont know where i should go. This woman may have appeared be the dream partner that you had spent lifetime looking for someone who truly undersod you the no one else ever had The bond that you formed her may have been the strongest you have ever felt for another human being and you may have very quickly been convinced that this was the person you wanted spend the rest of life But what you might not have known is that the woman you were dating probably started out in the relationship by idealizing you Others (even her family and close friends) have commented how much she has changed how selfish she appears. Despite the great connection there’s a possibility where she felt you were the ‘safe’ choice hence at 23 and not knowing what she wants yet has been afraid commit you thus far I think you are doing the right thing and should focus on moving on for now You could try again in a year of two as mentioned since you would be less insecure and more emotionally stable by then while she may finally be done ‘exploring’ and is ready settle down a. You could reply but avoid prolonging the conversation Go back in NC. Rose you likely would understand if you ever lived through a relationship BPD I had no idea until after all the damage was done I was devastated and out of options I started researching and there is information EVERYWHERE about BPD My ex fit pretty much every one of these traits You could almost switch out any of us who are posting here our experiences are so much alike Society doesn’t like think of men as insecure or weak or hurt… but until you’ve lived through this you have. Once I read the article I realised that our relationship wasn’t love; it was abuse This is hard for you acknowledge But it’s the truth – the facts are there and sometimes. This is the last guy She has only gone on one date this new guy and she wants go on a date me I worry it’s out of pity and already let her know that I would give her space She said she still wanted do stuff gether but I’m not convinced it’s not for reasons I’d like pity or worry for my feelings She was deeply in love me but she doesn’t seem feel like that now even after seeing me cry It’s like she’s trying put out a fire yet keep it genuine I was thinking I’d let her know I don’t need that and I’d give her time like she gave me o much of Should I start no contact? She could still love you but is not longer in love or has feelings of passion wards you Basically she has probably lost the spark so if you want win her back you’re going have figure out a re-create that her so she is attracted you. If she appears disinterested it could be o soon contact her at this point There could be several reasons why she feels this such as having moved on since or even still going through the recovery stage where she may be reminded of negative memories when she talks you You could use this article for more guidance on how. Me and my was there gether for 6 months Due the lack of my emotional intelligence and my desperateness she broke me and completely lost her interest in me Now she’s dating an another guy What should I do get her back and last the relationship permanently? Elvis women these traits have a habit of blaming their partner for their problems This causes terrible confusion and sometimes it makes the partner doubt themselves I’m glad hear that you know own worth as this is an important part of healing from one of these relationships She may have bipolar But regardless because of her behavior pattern I would say that unless she got help she probably would not be able come her senses The things she ld you that were so disturbing were said in order help her cope her emotional distress None of these negative behaviors had do you But I will remind you that this behavior pattern is very damaging particularly nice guy types such as self So if there is any you can move on from this relationship and try find someone who is capable of treating you well that would be the choice. //a few months after I graduated in she went Thailand on a trip Whilst there she claimed she was “raped” I found out 4 years later in 2016 that it was tally made Not only that – but she made ME FEEL RESPONSIBLE because I was late Skype by 20 minutes… I’m such an idiot for listening her I just felt so responsible for her I had my doubts – but I couldn’t exactly question her sry – so I just gave her all of the sport I could She founded our relationship on a series. Is that i must do no contact?? morrow is my dinner her family i hope everything was find Sp intimacy and just meet her like a normal friend. You won’t have restart NC if you decided wish her and it’s fine wish her if you really want but avoid continuing the conversation afterwards and keep. Hey long sry that I’ll try keep short We were friends she was married but contemplating divorce We flirted then it became physical Everything was great She was also my gym partner so we work out gether 4 or 5 times a week She wanted talk about our relationship but I dodged the talk I had feelings for her but didn’t tell her because I didn’t wanna get hurt We were gether for 2.5 yrs til she spped sleeping me & said that I was in friendzone I still worked out her but gave her space I finally ld her how I felt about her & that I loved her She ld me that it was o late & it would be different if I had said something months ago She started dating someone after we spped sleeping gether She says that she’s happy & content but has feelings for me & cares for me How do I get. Firstly you have keep in mind that no amount of justification makes her actions any more right than lack of attention wards her Cheating is something that would definitely take a ll on the relationship if you forgive her and get back gether because there’s als going be a sense of insecurity self-doubt trust issues and resentment wards her for doing so All these things translate in actions which resulted in xic behavior You should honestly consider the possibility of whether you were xic for her or if it was actually the other around and her actions caused you behave in a xic manner Lack of attention is common in a relationship and it should have been addressed gether as a cole instead of her getting bored and cheating on you (on more than one occasion) and even lying you about. There’s als a chance but its als dependent on the circumstances of the entire relationship between the two of you and how meaningful. She may have gotten bored of the current relationship and decided create new excitement by finding another guy You should spend this time working on self and improving aspects that you felt were lacking re-create the excitement/passion you once shared her Show her that you’re the better choice and that her interests in another person is unwarranted. So after 8.5 years my ex decided he needed space But then more than space It was over I was devasted Asked the obvious questions and was in the end given a load of abuse Since the incident years earlier I had been what I thought was the perfect partner – sported his endless working on his business looked after his ailing dog and his mother ok care of anything domestic loved him cared for him etc The parting comment that sticks in my head is the word “slut” repeated several times via text message Facebook Twitter Twitter LinkedIn LinkedIn Google +1 Pinterest Pinterest. You will fight for her but not from a position of weakness You will do this from a position of strength And no contact is important for that In some rare cases; ex might be so immature that she is dating other guy just make you jealous and do something out of desperation If that’s the case you should still do no contact before making a move The deal immaturity is by being mature and calm You can take the power a from her by focusing on self and healing as we discuss in the next section Part 3: Healing During No Contact When she is dating someone else Healing during no contact is essential if you want look confident and attractive when you get back in uch her after no contact While she is trying avoid the break pain and grief by going through the honeymoon stage the other guy; you are going be doing the. It was disturbing that 20 years later a head-teacher married children you still behave in the same You asked me come back room I said no I initially thought it was my Pip ending (the original one) – that having fucked it all those years ago you were still in love me but I had moved on Then I realised you were testing see if I was still caught in the lies I made sure female friends walked you back room Don’t worry I didn’t tell anyone about it It’s business Probably continue on life and aiming for positive changes any issues you personally may have had for now as there really isn’t much else you can do since Seattle is about a 3 hour flight a If she left so suddenly you could be right in saying that she needs some space for now and by pursuing after her she feels more suffocated and feels more negative. Zs says: Dear Joanna First of all let me express that it is really. Have a question? We have an active comment section Scroll down read the comments Before commenting read commenting guidelines. You got so drunk that you were falling over You were incoherent and repeating the same sries again and again You apparently tell husband and children about me which I find disturbing for them You explained a how you treated me a vague “I was young and selfish” and “I’ve als like men” The lack of self-awareness reflection and growth was a little sad 3 or 4 people commented me that you hadn’t changed much as you were struggling stand You’re going have wait for her end things the new guy before trying re-create the spark her and winning her back After that however constant effort and self-confidence should be maintained in order keep her around. You could still send it since you had already mentally prepared carry on life after any It sucks find out ex has moved on someone new but at the same time it could just as easily be a rebound cope the negative emotions she feels and loss of relationship habits she was. If she refuses or is hesitant give her a little nudge Something like “Come on it’s just coffee.” If she still says no back off for some time What if she flakes at the last moment? If ex cancels meeting you at the last moment (because of a genuine reason or a flaky one) then there’s a good chance she is skeptical about this or she thinks meeting you is a big deal There’s also a chance that she is in a rebound or she is thinking of dating someone else In this case just focus on rebuilding connection her on phone and ask her out again after a week If you suspect she is dating someone else read this article figure out. Go back in no contact for a week or two before trying again The whole point of this stage is get her talk you normally and not have her guard By being o frequent in texting despite her not answering would only further her guard or even cause her block number. Mission: Get Ex Back and Keep Her Permanently This guide will tell you exactly what do from here on forward get ex back as soon as possible What’s the catch? Like I said before you only get a handful of chances at this So if you are not careful you might screw this Moreover following this guide is NOT EASY Above all it will need 3 things from you Patience Determination Honesty or Vulnerability ( self ex and me if we ever communicate) Like I said before it’s not going be easy But if ex is worth it I am sure you won’t care how much patience determination or honesty it takes get her back (Note: You may want bookmark this article as it’s quite long and you will need it constantly as you move forward in this mission) 2 Don’t let her disrespect you or cross any boundaries: If she starts talking about how she is attracted the guy in the gym don’t give her advice on asking him out Instead set a boundary Tell her that even though she has all the right do what she wants you still have feelings for her and you don’t want speak about this You are not her and she can’t discuss these things you Yes she might sp talking you for a while but she will respect you more for it and will probably start talking again when she misses the connection you both have Common Pitfall: Asking Her Out o Soon A lot of guys make the mistake of asking ex- out as soon as they start speaking her If you ask her out o soon she is going put her defenses and will become reluctant There’s a good chance she will. There are three mediums you can use do this A Hand-Written Letter Text Messages Email Once you have contacted her using this method it’s time leave her alone for a while At least for five days When you don’t contact her after sending her this text it will prove her that you are serious about accepting the break and are not just saying this get her back What if she replies? There’s a good chance ex will reply you If she does you are free talk her But don’t overdo it just yet She still might have her defenses and if you act desperate or needy in any it will confirm her doubts If she replies you should speak her but don’t try rebuild attraction or make her laugh yet Just end the conversation on a light note and make her feel good about it Hello I certain I have been abused for nearly 13 years by my Fiancee. That’s good hear It sounds like a good plan schedule that meet at least pick stuff and perhaps have the opportunity express self once more and see if both parties can finally communicate their thoughts properly in order work something out If not NC would probably be next solution short of walking a from everything. If you want try out some of the basic techniques of this method for free see if this method is right for situation you can learn them from an intro guide flip-book here or a PDF version of the intro guide here Visit Joanna on Google+ Borderline personality disorder is actually a very serious and complex condition that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional The behavior of idealizing and then devaluing a relationship partner does not necessarily mean that ex has this personality disorder So how can a woman engage in the same behavior patterns and not have borderline personality disorder? The Traits Of Borderline Personality Disorder If ex was reasonably functional in her life before she met you and these behaviors only occurred in relationship the chances are she does share some character traits people who have the disorder But just having character traits does not mean she necessarily has the disorder itself Typically you would go back no contact but if the meet that takes place ends on a positive note perhaps you could continue the conversation see where it leads but any sign of negativity and you should go back. In order recover from this painful experience you also may need come terms the manner in which you were rejected Most men after their break a woman traits of borderline personality disorder eventually realize that they lost the woman they fell in love when the transformation from idealization devaluation ok place not when the actual relationship ended One of the reasons so many men stay and keep trying fix what they know is a broken relationship is that it often takes a while for them finally shake the feeling that the woman they were in love could still be somewhere inside of the person who has turned against them Others experience the abrt personality reversal as the actual loss of the person they were in love They may find that they cannot recover unless they go through stages of grieving that are similar those who have lost a. Hi I just loved the article Me and my broke 5 days ago She might get married soon in maybe 4-6 months There are guys who are eyeing her like Hawks already I have decided go NO Contact for 10 days She had a Boyfriend before me and she has the tendency move on easily So I don’t have 30 or 60 days for No Contact I need change soon I was angry Didnt understand her We lacked communication and fought I was the angry and insecure guy o much of love and affection showering but no negative intention Now I have changed As we fought 4-5 times over a period of 5 months Yes It was a 5 months relationship So I have decided not get Angry at least listen her views no manage her day and ask why is she at her friends place late night etc This is my ground rule while talking. While she may have had feelings for you before there’s a chance due her age and emotional maturity that she just isn’t capable of having a lasting relationship yet It seems that she may have gotten bored of you which resulted in her flirting other people and judging by how quickly her next relationship ended o seems like she may have gotten bored of him o You have take these things in account and even if you decide win her back whether she would get bored again after awhile and repeat. Hey so my broke me about 2 weeks ago and I haven’t talked her since which was hard but I’m doing it However we go the same school so when I finish no contact and start stage 3 should I start talk her in school as well as. Life is all about challenges Even if you successfully win her back you should still strive for bigger and greater things You should strive build a stronger foundation and a better relationship her Even if you think you are confident at this point you should still strive become a better version of self You should still work on things that matter you including passions and life goals Conclusion: This article is long If you have read it so far I commend you for dedication It means you are truly serious about getting her back and keeping her There’s a good chance you will need refer this article again and again in the coming months so I recommend you bookmark it so you can come back here easily. Also we are going on almost 5 months since we’ve broken Note: If you can’t think of any of these things you need finish Stage 1 of this article and come back here after about 2 weeks 3 Become A Better Version of self What happened in past relationship ex- is past When you get back gether it’s going be a better relationship Because YOU are going be a better version of self a) Become More Confident Being confident is the number one quality that will attract ex ex wife or ex fiancé back However confidence isn’t something that can be built in a day In fact the insecurity that pushed ex a and caused her break you is the result of years of negative feedback you received from the world. Be frank her reaction wards you is what normally happens after NC so in answering question no you don’t have go about NC all over again Also it would seem like NC was already done during the stage where you were blocked on all forms of contact. In most cases; the elephant in the room text (or email) will be ideal contact her Where go from there? Once you have re-established contact her it’s time slowly start rebuilding attraction her Again read my article on texting or my ser article on winning her back in 5 stages However the approach you take and chances of success will vary depending on the type of relationship ex has her new boyfriend How Get Her back When She Is Just Seeing Someone Else? When ex is just going on dates some other guy and has not really started considering him as her new boyfriend; you can be a little aggressive in approach How do you know if she is just dating the other guy and does not consider him a boyfriend? Goodhearted trusting types who have solid relationship skills and who are not afraid of commitment have a very hard time recognizing relationship insecurity in others They have be educated that it’s very hard for most people shake off the fears of opening themselves completely another or they can be taken advantage of as you unfortunately were I hope you find someone as goodhearted as self in the future partner I believe you will find that a healthy partner all of these types of loving gestures will be returned creating a very happy and productive relationship. Let’S begin Part 1: The Mistakes That will Push Ex in Another Man’s Arms When ex starts dating someone else mind panics and you are bound make a lot of mistakes that will push her further a I cover a lot of mistakes that most guys make after a break in stage 1 of this article These basic mistakes include Texting or calling her all the time Being a Doormat Getting Angry and Calling Her Names Begging And Pleading Her Take You Back In this section I won’t be talking about these mistakes But I will try list out some of the most common mistakes that a lot of guys make when they find out their ex has a new boyfriend A relationship that both of you can enjoy in thrive in and grow in gether as lovers; for a very longtime This guide is not a trick or a bandage solution for broken relationship It’s not designed get ex back immediately It’s designed get her back permanently What is this Article? This article is ultimate guide on how win ex back I’ve designed this article in stages Just like in a video game Why? If you and the girl you love just broke you are probably going through a lot of pain heartache grief obsessiveness and confusion In fact if you are reading this article there’s a good chance you are very confused and don’t know where go from here About what do and what. I think this webpage is a little stigmatising and dis-compassionate that makes some pretty big generalisations of experience. Romantic connection is like a plant If you don’t water it for a week it will er but survive If you don’t water it for a month it will lose it shine look terrible but still be alive But if you neglect it for several months it will die Keep working on confidence individually Having someone love you is a great confidence booster But if you are just depending on for validity approval and love; she will eventually get tired of it and leave you This is why it’s important that you keep working on self-esteem and confidence even after you get her back Read Stage 2 of this guide understand how. Again giving ex- what she wants is not really a deal breaker It’s intention behind giving her what she wants that matters For example spose you are having an argument about you als trying control her And instead of trying understand her you go out and buy her a necklace that she wanted for a while She is excited and forgets about the argument Win win right? Wrong You avoided a serious issue in the relationship You avoided a serious issue in self And that festered inside her If you want give something ex- do it out of heart and do it because you want do it out getting anything in return. As many forms of psychological trauma or stress one of the most important steps in recovering is understanding that you are not at fault for what happened nor did you do anything that could have contributed or spped the idealization and eventual devaluation by ex that destroyed relationship I plan give it some time yes I’ve written an apology letter – it just outlines how I accept responsibility and recognize the things I did wrong and why they happened etc it also says how grateful I am that we shared what we did and that I understand this is for the but that there’s no reason we shouldn’t talk It ends in a pretty light hearted note do you recommend sending this before reaching out via text? Or just keep it text and keep it light hearted? What if you contact her after a month and she hasn’t healed like I have but is now the one who should be reading this article? She’s clearly already had her date Does she need NC? If I want get back her should I try work through those problems her or insist she do it on her own? This was actually a problem earlier in our relationship before we ended it She wanted keep going and work through it but I thought we had do it on. Continue no contact indefinitely if she is dating colleague at the moment and move on life if you’re unable stay friends her It’s not advisable interfere her current relationship since she might resent you for it If you feel able be her friend out the hope of getting back gether for the meantime then. I’m sorry this happened you This is a truly difficult period in time for nice guys And statement that you feel like you were used and meant nothing her is sadly true But it’s important remember that she doesn’t believe that she meant anything you She doesn’t even realize it’s possible act from an ethical stance instead of an emotional one She has no comprehension of what it means protect the one you love You both believe that the other perceives the world as each of you does You believe in people o much and she doesn’t believe enough People who are not capable of intimacy still have needs for closeness They are very capable of lying in order get out giving. Probably continue giving her space for now since she does not seem ready meet you yet You might also have wait and see if the current person she’s dating turns out be a rebound or not before making move in the future Given the period you’ve been gether her it would seem that there definitely is a good chance for you win her back since 3 years is long enough have created many lasting memories The person she’s currently dating may be a rebound fill her time and emotions I would suggest since you already have see her daily for work you could use that opportunity try and win. Since things ended the it did back then perhaps you might want give it more time before considering approaching her again as she might not respond you positively at this point I would recommend continuing NC and working on self for another cole of weeks before trying contact her and based on her response you’ll be able gauge how she feels. Haha it works guys I looked at this shit every single day All of comments are just crying and you guys all want take short cuts Follow it step by step Don’t skip anything and don’t think that you are better than the system. Even if her friend is indeed manipulating her if you really want her back you can’t go around telling her what do or getting angry (even if it hurts you) because you guys are not gether at the moment She is probably confused not strictly by how her friend is manipulating her but also by sweet actions vs instinctive behavior of getting jealous and confronting her You have be patient and be able take things in stride slowly winning her back unconditionally if you really want win. If you read this guide on getting ex back; you know it’s important that you establish contact ex after no contact So what is the ideal time reach out after no contact? In an ideal world you will contact her a few days after her rebound has ended When she is feeling down and miserable about the break and is missing you terribly Unfortunately we don’t really live in an ideal world There’s a chance that ex might drag her rebound relationship a lot longer than necessary In some cases you might not be aware of her relationship status and you won’t even know if she has ended her new relationship In some cases it might not even be a rebound relationship It might be a serious relationship that she really wants last This is why I recommend that you contact her whenever you. One day I came across MSN hisry of a chat she had had someone I did not know (clearly male) which was say the least very disgusting I used serve in the armed forces so am not easily shocked When confronted she was evasive and seemingly not o bothered that I was set by this We moved house after 3 years and as the children grew and her jobs came and went she started want go out a lot more often (usually out me) and complain and call me constantly if I ever went out Her drinking started get a lot worse however I saw 2 patterns of behavior around her alcohol consumption either she would be blind drunk and overly happy the extreme or constantly crying moody there was never a happy medium. Hi I just want know if my situation has any hope or if I can’t never go. Or a better question how do i know when its time just sp and. I would recommend you cutting off contact It can also help remember there are some very positive attributes that go along having the nice guy personality It often means you are extremely responsible and mature as you have shown in ability excel personal finances and ability move ahead education Having very good social skills should land you on feet There will never be anything that will make for the lost years but if things feel o ugh there is one other positive attribute of the nice guy personality //the 5-year co-dependency started 3 weeks in our relationship when she ld me she tried commit suicide twice growing She made me feel that if I was leave her when I graduated she’d fall back in this suicidal state These suicide attempts were not true or at least greatly exaggerated but at the time I gave her my full sport and encouraged her grow as a person I gave her my full attention putting her needs above my own I encouraged her embrace her uniqueness and individuality so that she would never be plagued by this “suicidal mentality” in future I was really happy give my all her However she was just creating a dependency so that I felt responsible for her emotional well-being She had huge abandonment issues and felt the need enforce extreme measures ensure that I stayed. Wow – thanks for this The most painful thing for me is knowing that the Mr Hyde side was only shown me and maybe her mom (and most likely previous boyfriends) She is otherwise a remarkable and lovely person and I’m sure all of her friends would be shocked at the fabricated incidents and cruelty I’m proud I had the strength leave and have the decency not talk bad about her But boy do I want shout it the world; Watch back – she will drag. Joanna Nicola says: Z they do lose the beautiful memories But they don't experience. Unlike video games you don’t get unlimited chances win her back You only get a handful of chances And if you are not prepared you will screw it So how do you NOT SCREW this time? If you want get ex back you need take this as a mission Almost like a video game If asking her get back gether is the final fight in this game you need level and win a lot of mini fights before doing that I’ll explain how do that in a moment But first let me introduce myself and tell you a bit about why I am writing this. As you can see from the objectives above this stage of getting ex back is all about you In my opinion this is the most important stage of this mission It’s not one of those stages where you can just enter a tunnel in the beginning and can skip it right the next stage (I am looking at you Mario) If you fail at this stage you will most likely fail at getting ex back permanently Even if you somehow manage get her back for the time being I am quite positive you will break again in the future Yes that’s how important this stage is We are going go through each of the objectives of this stage and then we are going list out some of the common pitfalls that most guys face during this stage 1) Figure out what caused the break The first thing after you have calmed down in Stage 1 is try figure out what caused. Avoid being o pushy and outwardly displaying negative emotions especially if she does not respond positively initial flirting. So how do you recover from having been pulled deeply in love by ex and then ripped out of it only find self being hurt and in some cases even abused by the person who you had placed all trust in? There are several components recovery from a relationship a woman who has traits of borderline personality disorder Since both of you are in official relationships at this point it wouldn’t be recommended for either of you go behind partner’s backs and involve self another person even if that person is ex I think it would be okay remain on talking terms as you want be certain she still has feelings for you and would be willing leave her current relationship be you or you would end breaking current just end getting hurt. I think the most important things is figure out what it was that made her walk a Feelings of being unloved and fatigue from the relationship don’t tend happen overnight and is usually a build it Before you even decide if you want win her back again or not you should try understand this and also consider the likelihood no matter how small of whether she might have been unfaithful back at her homewn At least this also helps you reach a decision on approach and how not make the same mistake again (if you had done so unknowingly). Hello My ex and I were gether for 2 years She found a new boyfriend 2 weeks after she broke me It was so fast that I thought it was just a rebound relationship They broke because he cheated and my ex got depressed because of this I want her back but I think she has been in love this person since before she broke me How can I win her back if she is in love him? We broke two months ago and I haven’t done no-contact The that she talks about him and the that she suffered for him makes me afraid that she really love him and will forgive him and come back him in any moment What should I do? I’m losing any hope get her back and it hurts me see her in love a person who makes her so unhappy. //it’s now summer and I’m back home no job no idea what I’m doing and no social sport I haven’t seen her since summer 2016 but it still feels absolutely fresh because I had consciously put her at the forefront of my mind for an entire year and avoided creating true independence from her //Having said that I still miss her! And I wake thinking about her every single morning as soon as I open my eyes I don’t have any sports or friends here in my homewn and all of the mutual friends I would speak have also been manipulated by her version of the truth make it seem like I was abusive //Please can you offer some advice on my situation? I’m planning move a new city and start a new life new people but I feel so hollow! I cheated on my ex a dee months ago and weve been in moderate contact ever since Shes started date this guy but I just started not contact her yesterday Since then ive asked her sp contacting me but shes now telling me she is going kill herself because of how she has no real friends and how she knows her new boyfriend will cheat on her and how she misses me a lot but she says she will feel wrong if she hangs out me or something and she is complaining about how horrible her life is right now and how she lnows im the only one that can make her feel better She’s trying get me admit I l love her but im trying stay firm and not give in her She said shes about block me because she is going kill herself because she thinks I don’t care about her anymore from trying avoid talking her Im not sure what do she thinks I don’t care about her anymore and I want. I forgot mention that the ex had been sectioned for her self harming and drug taking before we had met I have had no contact her for 6 weeks and cut all lines of communication I now feel free and can actually think clearly for the 1st time that I can remember for years A close friend (who the ex has been living for the last 6 months) has ld me that the ex is behaving like a child seeking constant attention from everyone and anyone and lying a great deal taking out credit cards she cannot afford etc the list goes on Clearly she has big problems I used encourage her seek treatment but she would als say it didn’t work and not even make any attempt try Hi Ryan So I just came out of a no contact phase my ex who is seeing someone else I sent her a short letter about me apologising and briefly mentioning that I have changed my life around and that I would like see her in person The positive outcome was that she responded however her response was that she was was not ready see me and that she’s doing it out of respect of the guy she is seeing I haven’t replied back her yet but what are my options right now Thanks 🙂 Is it possible get back an ex who’s been her bf for almost a year? I have her on Snapchat but the only communication we have is saying good morning each other and the occasional conversation She broke me in Ocber of 2016 and I don’t know why I’m still not over her and I hate myself for it I’m still working on myself but I just want know what do for when the time is right Thanks Nicola One thing i would love some clarification on is some of the things i was expected do during our relationship and now I feel i was the bad one…… Went guaranr on a loan but was never aloud mention it? Was ld she had another credit card and if I truly loved her i should have paid it off? Brought her diamond earings and was ridiculed because they were not white gold? Not allowed see my freinds because she didnt like them? ld me my freind sent me a message about a girl he wanted me meet that she saw and deleted in my phone before i had a chance read it…… This was a lie? Could not be late home from work otherwise i would be accused of going somewhere else? If i loved her i Was ld not buy a new car instead pay it off and give it her so she could then sell her car and pay off her debits? Complete no contact and continue process of self-improvements and then start talking her again after If you’re able show her the changes through actions you would probably cause her re-think if getting back might be a good. I’m hearing that if it goes well there’s no need for NC Just know the old relationship is over and we are building a new one from scratch The question is if it goes well do I make the next get-gether coffee/beer for momentum (all fun no relationship talk) or slow it back texting. Talk about things she is passionate about About the things she cares about get her start talking about things that she cares about you should start talking about the things that matter you and you are passionate about You can also use creative questions do this for you Here’s an example “If you can change any thing about professional life what would it be?” Ex GF: “Well I would try find a include dancing in it somehow But I don’t think that’s possible considering I work in Marketing lol” You: “Yeah you are an amazing dancer I loved that show you did at the club house Man I wish I were that good How did you become so good. Hello Kevin I broke my ex one month ago We were in a LDR but were planning move gether in few months She found a new boyfriend very fast but she spped seeing him very fast o Lately she acts corny me regrets seeing someone else and says me that she wants be me but asked me for time think about it I have tell you that I made all the mistakes that one can do after breaking I just found this amazing guide and found out about the no-contact I don’t know if I should do no-contact her I think that if I do that she will forget me and go again her new bf Also I don’t know if it is the correct thing do now that she accepted me that she still have feelings for me What should. Based on everything you’ve said it would seem that you might want honestly consider the idea of moving on especially if religion and the deal her parents are never going change You could decide contact her and try establish a friendly line of communication again but I wouldn’t suggest trying win her back in these two weeks because you’ll probably end doing something reckless or desperate since you’ll end having a mental dateline meet (before. Nc is also meant create some distance from her and either give her the opportunity miss you or for you create some positive changes in life so that she takes notice and becomes interested in you once more Since she might be going through a rebound now it’s let her sort it out because interference might cause her become more adamant try and make things work the rebound. @ryan So following on from my last post where I said I’d leave it for another month no contact her whatsoever besides her checking my sry and posting a happy birthday message on my fb wall I didn’t respond except liking the post keep things civil as I liked everyone else’ post It got the last day mark and I’m getting ready send her the letter as stated in the guide I then receive a message from her telling me that she’s started see someone new and that she’s telling me out of courtesy because when we I asked that she would tell me if/when that happened It’s only been 2 months since the break I wasn’t expecting her move this fast since our relationship was 7 years but here. Thank you so much for reply I really wanna get back her and I’ve been following the advice in this article thus far I have improved a point where I clearly undersod what I did wrong and i am even experiencing an unusual rush of confidence a bit of a “knowing” that we will get back I had my relationship ever her and sometimes I can’t believe how dumb I was not realizing what I did wrong Besides I know now that there is only one reason for me get back her – make it last forever I highly appreciate the time you take answer all these questions If I hit another bump in the road I will ask again If we get back gether I will make a celebration comment Thanks again. Hello i have a question What if I did no contact for 23 days and now I have see my ex on a festival because we have mutual friends How do I have react her? During the break she said she still had feelings for me but it just didn’t work between us In the meantime I really showed the mutual friends I have improved in both my physical and emotional attraction. The truth is we all possess one or even a few character traits of various personality disorders It is only when these traits are present in such a pronounced that they actually impair the functionality of everyday living that they qualify for diagnosis Assessing The Extent Of The Damage Even though you may have been wrong about ex having a personality disorder you are not wrong about the damage you suffered from being in a relationship her Because the behaviors of women only a few traits of borderline personality disorder in a relationship are often the same as those who have the actual disorder you may have suffered in a very similar For case since the relationship was not for a long period you could reduce NC around 2 weeks before contacting. On the flip side it may look on the surface that you are better than the other guy in every possible Be it health wealth status sexual compatibility or the you treated her It still does not make much of a difference Again if she has moved on emotionally and mentally; and she builds a strong connection the new guy; she will forget about you and.
Thank you for speedy reply So would you advise me follow any of the strategy you guys have laid out ? Or just be friends her and take things slow and is there a limit on how much i should be texting her because her and i have been speaking since Sunday. Nicolamethod@ . I dont know what do i still really want win her back but dont know if i have a chance because she has mentioned that she now likes someone … are you able please give me some advice ? As the relationship was only for 5 months if you’re intending on doing NC perhaps aim do about 2-3 weeks of it especially if you’ve been talking her almost daily prior her distancing herself from you It’s natural for her have her guard but if you want win her back you’re going have prove her that you’re different from past partners by showing her positive changes. How do i make sense of all this and what would you advise me do now ? Do you think i may still have a chance win her back ? If so what would you suggest me do ? Or would it be fair say now is the time walk a ? And if i decide move on should i have a conversation her about it or just cut. A lot of time guys try avoid any difficult pics because they are scared their ex will become set and the date will go badly In an effort avoid making their ex set or starting an argument they will just agree her point of view even if they don’t This is how you get friendzoned Instead learn how handle arguments and negativity in a conversation Learn how understand her out patronizing her Learn how be an adult in a difficult situation Continue the date Further If date goes well try extend it a different venue You should take the lead and ask her join you for something else If you just finished coffee ask her accompany you a pub nearby If you just finished shopping ask her have coffee and cake you If you just finished dinner ask her catch a. I believe that she is already emotionally vested in this new relationship she treats me like garbage at times but just last week she heard me talking a girl that is only my friend and she got ser jealous she started asking who are you talking and then started yelling stuff get a reaction from me and at the same time she doesn’t seem be trying move out of my house I have tried my treat her like a queen from cooking on the regular helping around the house where she does nothing at home anymore I even prep her lunch But still I get nothing but negativity I can be patient but don’t know for how long as I do love her and am not ready let 18 years go a just. Ideally you want it be her idea want get back gether If you have done everything right till now then ex probably wants you back already In most cases she will start talking about the idea of getting back gether about how relationship will be if you get back gether But if you and ex have been going on dates for a long time (at least a month) then you should take the plunge and ask her Here’s a simple ask her be again “Hey I know our past relationship ended badly And I am as skeptical about the future as you are But spending the past few weeks you have been very nice and I have a good feeling about this Do you want give us another try? Maybe take things slow and see how it goes?” Be Skeptical Note that you don’t want ask her be again You want ask her agree take things slow. She definitely still loves you but needs some space as well at this point because by panicking and constantly talking about the relationship you might end pushing her a due the feeling of being suffocated Definitely start working on how mood affects the people around you as well at least give her a reason not walk a. Yes it would be better apply no contact at this stage since she might only be lingering around due habit rather than actual feelings You’ll want re-ignite whatever passion she had lost for you through the correct or the relationship wouldn’t last if she got back you out of sympathy. Thank you for comments I was als so lost what do Confused I felt like I was walking on eggshells everyday of my life its a horrible feeling go through something like that and it’s nice realize that perhaps it wasn’t me. Since you have only been ex for a short period it may be better give it another shot instead of applying NC straight a NC can have an opposite effect on coles that have not spent enough time gether build a meaningful relationship. Is she BPD who knows maybe she is just very good and manipulating people and I was 2 soft and put her on a pedastil What do you do when the love of life breaks you and moves on? What do you do if you want get ex back but she has a new boyfriend? When all you want do is make her happy make her feel appreciated and make her feel loved; but you can’t? Worse yet what do you do when she is doing all those things another guy? This article will answer questions The questions that have been plaguing you until you found. You’Ve got money situation tied down You’ve got friends nearby You don’t need me right now and you’re finding out whether you want or need something from the rebound or if you want be “single forever” So we won’t see each other for a while When we do I hope there will be less confusion I love you more than I showed it Go. If that was the case I would assume that you ended the relationship previously Going along those lines she was probably hurt that you didn’t want work things out gether and has lost trust in you as well In that scenario you could either try get through her and convince her that you’re willing work on things gether and regain her trust again or decide leave her be until she’s ready face you once more before working things out This would depend entirely on what you feel is for case because every relationship and how it ended is different from. Hopefully just getting back in uch you and realizing she still has feelings for you should be enough for her break her new boyfriend If that doesn’t work you must find a get her meet you Girls usually consider meeting an ex; out the knowledge of boyfriend or ; a betrayal of trust Naturally she doesn’t want consider herself as someone who betrays the trust of the guy she is seeing So she is probably going deny invitation of meeting even if she has feelings for you and wants meet She simply wants maintain her integrity in her own eyes Of course there are exceptions the above rule and if you think ex- is one you can straight ask her out on a coffee or meet for drinks But if you think ex- holds herself high standards; you might want find a loophole for her dilemma. This is again an optional objective because it’s not necessary win ex- back permanently But it sure helps Being socially active helps you regain confidence and realize that ex isn’t the only person in the world for you If you spend time friends and other girls you will feel better about self and realize other girls are interested in you.